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Band 6

Some people think that sport is very important for society. Others, however, argue that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #sport #society #leisure #activity
Some
people
harbor
Change the spelling
harbour
show examples
 a belief that
sport
 plays an indispensable role in contemporary
society
, whereas others hold an
opposite
Replace the word
opposing
show examples
 viewpoint that
leisure
activities
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more significant than
sport
. In my opinion, sports and
leisure
activities
 are equivalent. Admittedly, there are a number of reasons why some
people
 argue that
sport
 is very vital for
society
. The main reason for believing
this
 is that regular exercises can help
people
 not only keep
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fit but
also
 prevent
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
diseases. Through doing exercises
people
 can increase their metabolism and digest the fatty and
high-calories
Correct your spelling
high-calorie
show examples
 consumptions. In a long term, it can efficiently avoid
people
 suffering from obesity, cardiovascular disease and so on.
In addition
,
sport
 can unite players. Players develop their cooperation
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 and communication
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 when they are in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
teamwork.
In other words
,
sport
Add an article
the sport
show examples
 has a huge impact on
people
 both in their health and their abilities. At the other end of the spectrum,
such
 as a major role
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
leisure
activities
, drawing and reading, play in
society
. Drawing can aid
people
enrich
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to enrich
show examples
 their imagination.
Also
,
people
 can express their
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
 via drawing,
in particular
 those who have
Add an article
a problem
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in expressing
or
Correct pronoun usage
themselves or
show examples
too
Add a missing verb
are too
show examples
 shy to talk with others.
Similarly
,
people
 improve their individual thinking and boost their
creativities
Fix the agreement mistake
creativity
show examples
 by reading books. In
this
 way, individuals improve their own capabilities and express
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 emotion in order to release pressure. In conclusion, despite the fact that
sport
 is an extremely crucial part of the daily basis,
leisure
activities
also
 provide a substantial positive effect on individuals. From my perspective,
sport
 and
leisure
activities
 have an equally essential role to play in
society
,
people
 can not live without them.
Submitted by sam658769 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Chronic diseases
  • Teamwork
  • Cultural divides
  • Revenue generator
  • Infrastructure
  • Patriotism
  • Role models
  • Commercialization
  • Recreation
  • Stress-relief
  • Elite sports
  • Injury risks
  • Doping scandals
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