In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the ad vanatges of owning a smartphone putweigh the disadvantages

#world #people #smartphone #ad #vanatges #putweigh

It is argued whether the benefits of buying a smartphone outweigh its drawbacks.

This

writer believes that the entertainment and contacts of the smartphone outweigh the disadvantages of sleeping disorders. The most advantageous factor of having smartphones is that they can help

people

relax after a stressful day.

This

is because smartphones provide us with a variety of apps or online activities to entertain

such

as playing games, watching films or chatting with friends. Extensive research has shown that

people

who use their phones for relaxing purposes tend to work more efficiently the next day.

Thus

, having a

phone

can help

people

to increase productivity. Contacts must

also

be considered. It must be recognized that the mobile

phone

has a great function of communicating, it can help

people

to exchange information with others face-to-face,

moreover

, it can really help in emergency situations.

For example

, when

people

get stuck in their car

while

travelling in a remote area, they can use their

phone

to call for assistance.

However

, using mobile phones can have a negative effect on our health, particularly sleeping disorders.

This

is because smartphones can generate blue light through their screens and

this

can make our eyes become weaker.

This

point may be true, but turning on the blue light filter mode and avoiding using the

phone

before going to bed, these actions can reduce the effects of blue light significantly. Taking all points into account, the entertainment and contact benefits outweigh the disadvantages of sleeping disorders.

Therefore

this

essay has demonstrated that owning a smartphone is more

Mon Jan 08 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Even though your introduction attempted to set a clear thesis, it lacked a proper conclusion to summarise your argument fully. It's essential to write a clear conclusion that encapsulates your main points and restates your position to strengthen the impact of your essay.

logical structure

Your essay has a recognisable structure, but the transition between ideas is not always smooth. Aim to use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to enhance clarity and flow. Consistency in argument development is key to making your essay more coherent.

supported main points

Your main arguments were relevant but make sure to fully elaborate on your points and support them with a wider variety of examples. Using diverse and detailed evidence strengthens your essay and gives credence to your arguments.

complete response

You have addressed the questions partially, providing some arguments for your viewpoint. However, you need to ensure that you explore all parts of the task statement thoroughly. Make sure to cover all aspects of the question asked, not only the parts you feel most comfortable discussing.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your response indicates a knowledge of the topic with some attempt to clarify your ideas. Enhancing clarity by defining key terms, offering more detailed explanations, and linking your points to the core idea can improve comprehensiveness.

relevant specific examples

You provided a specific example but could expand on this by incorporating a variety of examples to illustrate your points better. Try to demonstrate points with evidence pertaining to different perspectives or contexts.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

259 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the ad vanatges of owning a smartphone putweigh the disadvantages

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?”

The responsibility of bringing up children should be shared equally between mother and father. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, many people do not know their neighbour in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

The number of indigenous tribes living traditional lives in the world’s rainforests is decreasing. Within a few decades the last of these indigenous tribes may have disappeared forever. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to prevent it from happening?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities. Others say that it depends on other factors. What is your opinion?