The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

Obesity has become a major serious issue nowadays.

This

problem causes many

health

issues

such

as diabetes, joint pains, cardiac diseases and many more and so it put more burden on medical staff to deal with these illnesses. Few individuals opine that one of the best methods to eliminate

this

problem is to educate

people

in schools by introducing more lectures on physical

education

However

, I agree with the statement to some extent and the following paragraphs will be discussed my views along with examples. To commence with, schools should introduce more curricula on physical

education

;

therefore

, students will understand the importance of physical

health

from an early age.

Also

, it helps

people

to get interested in physical activities and to adopt good habits.

Moreover

, these activities not only help to improve their physical

health

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

their mental

health

will be improved.

For example

, a survey from oxford university stated that those students who have participated in games

also

worked good in their studies as well.

Hence

, it is very significant to have physical activities in the school's curriculum.

However

this

is not the only way to deal with obesity because a large section of society has been living below the poverty line so most children are not able to get an

education

. So that, they will not get the knowledge about physical

health

Therefore

, a free

health

campaign will be organized by the government to educate poor and illiterate

people

For instance

, in developed ,countries the authorities have been organizing free

health

education

campaigns and

also

free

health

checks ups and they educate

people

about physical and mental

health

along with good eating habits. So these

people

have good physical

education

even if they do not go to school.

Hence

, in ,India it should be applied so more and more

people

get knowledge about physical

health

. In conclusion, it is a good way to educate

people

by introducing more lessons on physical

education

in schools ;

however

, poor

people

will not able to take the advantage of

this

, so government should organize a free campaign to educate

people

Submitted by jk127987 on Sat Apr 16 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

351 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Relocating from a hometown to a new living place is a great alternative in order to align with individual work's purposes. However,it is argued that there are both possible strengths and weaknesses of this trend, which are outweighed by the advantages.
<4
band
Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs and other leisure activities. What are the harmful effects of such violent programs on children? What are the solutions for this problem?
Technology revolution has a big impact on our life. Using technology has both sides: advantages and disadvantages. Naturally, parents become unhappy of disadvantages. Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs and other leisure activities. What are the harmful effects of such violent programs on children? What are the solutions for this problem?
5
band
Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a work place every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?
Some individuals in opinion that it would be better if the bulk of staff worked from home instead of moving place to place for work. This article will reveal pros and cons of the assigned statement.
6
band
Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Many people, and children in particular, enjoy playing computer games all day long. While some people argue that it brings some advantages on users, I believe that they are more likely to have a harmful impact.
5
band
In their advertising, bussiness nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, advertising becomes increasingly popular in different markets. The firms are using various forms of adverts to popularize the novelty of their products to the public in order to make more profit. I suppose its a negative development which may harm the welfare of the consumers.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs and other leisure activities. What are the harmful effects of such violent programs on children? What are the solutions for this problem?

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a work place every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

In their advertising, bussiness nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?