It is often thought that the increase in juveniles crime can be attributed to violence to the society. Do you agree that this is the main cause of the crime? What solution can you offer to deal with this situation.

#juveniles #crime #violence #society #offer #situation

According to some

people

Add a comma

,people

show examples

the increase in the rate of crimes committed by teenagers is due to exposure showcased in

shows and

movies

. While I agree with the view that

brutality

Correct article usage

the brutality

show examples

depicted in media can contribute to

this

problem, there are several measures that can be taken to deal with juvenile

crime

To begin

, I think the reason some

minors

commit

Add an article

a crime

the crime

show examples

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

is that they are heavily influenced by the violence shown in films or

series and do not understand the consequences.

In other words

, they believe that

this

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

makes them

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

superior to their counterparts,

however

, they do not understand the legality of committing

such

Correct article usage

an offense

show examples

offense

Change the spelling

offence

show examples

For instance

, my son’s

neighbor

Change the spelling

neighbour

show examples

who was involved in a heated argument with his friend brought out a small knife from his pocket and injured his friend when ask why he said it was an act of

defense

Change the spelling

defence

show examples

that he watched it in a movie a month ago.

Hence

watching

violent

Add an article

a violent

the violent

show examples

film

Fix the agreement mistake

films

show examples

would make

minors

to be violent .

Furthermore

, there are effective solutions to address the growing problems of child

crime

Firstly

movies

that are been shown on

media

Change preposition

in media

show examples

should be censored.

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

government should help reduce the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

movies

that television, radio, and internet shows.

addition

Add a comma

,addition

show examples

parents should

also

help to block channels that show these

movies

by using

parental

Correct article usage

the parental

show examples

guidance code that comes with every decoder at home .

For example

, a survey carried out by

the

Correct article usage

show examples

American psychologist in 2001 revealed that most channels that showed

this

ferocity

movies

Change preposition

of movies

show examples

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

censored by the American censor committee. Evidently,

this

will help curb the

movies

that are been watched by

minors

Secondly

, it is essential for parents to monitor their

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

activities by knowing the kind of pursuit children indulge in and

also

give them constant support and guidance. In conclusion,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

restricting

minors

to the type of

movies

they watch and

neccessry

Correct your spelling

necessary

support from their parents can reduce the incidence of juvenile

crime

Submitted by agozie2018 on Sat Apr 23 2022

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

338 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is often thought that the increase in juveniles crime can be attributed to violence to the society. Do you agree that this is the main cause of the crime? What solution can you offer to deal with this situation.

Some people think that in order to improve the quality of education, high school students should be encouraged to evaluate and criticize their teachers, but other people maintain that such evaluation and criticism may cause loss of respect for teachers and discipline. What do you think?

The government should spend more money on railways than on roads. That do you think about this?

Some people claim that arts such as painting and music cannot affect people’s lives directly. The government should spend money on other things. what is your opinion?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion?