IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Museums and art galleries should focus on works that show the history and culture of their own country rather than works of other parts of the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#museums #art #galleries #focus #works #show #history #culture #country #parts #world
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It is being suggested by many
people
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 that
museums
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 and
art
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galleries
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 are
essential
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an essential
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element
Fix the agreement mistake
elements
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 to
display
Wrong verb form
displaying
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 local historical and cultural
works
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 and they should promote these
instead
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 of
internationals
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international
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 ones. I strongly agree with
this
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 notion because it can give an insight to
new
Correct article usage
the new
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 generation about many historical facts and
also
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 a sense of patriotism.
To begin
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 with, a large number of
people
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 are in favour of displaying
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country's
Correct article usage
a country's
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 own historical and cultural
works
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 because it can increase the knowledge of
background
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the background
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 history of the
country
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. To explain, after the new
ear
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era
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 of globalization,
new
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a new
the new
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 generation may be oblivious about their own
country
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.
Hence
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,
this
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 approach can help them to grab interesting facts from the
work
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 displayed in these
museums
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 and
art
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galleries
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. In
addtion
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addition
,
such
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phenomenon
Correct article usage
a phenomenon
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 can bring a feeling of
petriotism
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patriotism
 among
the
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apply
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people
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 of all age groups. If
people
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 get a chance to observe the things of
heros
Correct your spelling
heroes
 and fighters of
the
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apply
show examples
history, they may feel a sense of love and pride for their own
country
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. A survey conducted by Oxford University, in March
,
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apply
show examples
 2016 clearly unveiled that when
museums
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 and
art
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galleries
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 started showing
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country's
Correct article usage
the country's
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 own culture and
historcial
Correct your spelling
historical
work
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, a number
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people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 accepted that they felt proud and grabbed interesting knowledge about many facts about these.
However
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, it is undeniable fact that promotion of international
work
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 may ramp up the
multiculturelism
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multiculturalism
 in the society which may be a reason
of
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for
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 social
hormony
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harmony
. If
people
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 see the historical and cultural
works
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 along with their own
country
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's
works
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, there may
Add a missing verb
be a
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a chances
Correct the article-noun agreement
chances
a chance
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 of respect for other cultures and
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
artwork
show examples
art
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artwork
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work
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 in them. Ultimately,
this
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 may break the social barriers in
the
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apply
show examples
society and can promote the virtues.
For example
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, brotherhood and fraternity. To conclude, it is unequivocal that
work
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 of local history and culture should be promoted by
museums
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 and
galleries
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 than international ones. I
adoocate
Correct your spelling
advocate
 the fact as it can assist
people
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 to know more about their
country
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 and they may feel a feeling of respect and love in them.
Submitted by Mrjit147 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • National Identity
  • Cultural Heritage
  • Cultural Exchange
  • Inclusive
  • Exclusive
  • Preservation
  • Conservation
  • Educational Value
  • Tourism
  • Global Harmony
  • Cultural Exclusivity
  • Economic Growth
  • Heritage
  • Enrich
  • Foster
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