Technology causes more problems for modern society than it sloves. Do you agree or disagree ?

A group of individuals believe that

development

technology

is creating more issues for the developed communities and it resolves at a later stage. I totally disagree with the notion due to developed

technology

helping to improve public health and reduce manufacturing

time

. My

first

viewpoint is that using modern

technology

is help to improve humility live.

This

means that currently, Doctors are using modern

technology

for identifying their patient’s illness at the early stage and starting to give the required treatment at the same

time

as a result

this

, the average human death age is increased by certain percentages. To illustrate

this

, the Sunday

Time

newspaper published in Srilanka that the Srilankan average death age is increasing from 60 to 65 due to

development

Correct article usage

the development

show examples

of medical’s

technology

. My

Second

viewpoint is that

development

in the plant and machinery is increased the productivity in a day.

This

means, that in the construction industry, around 100 years ago, humans are used to excavating the foundation which took a month

time

to complete 1000m3 of excavation.

Nevertheless

currently

Add a comma

,currently

show examples

we are using an excavator for excavating the soil, which can be completed in a couple of days.

For example

, 70 stories building project that I am currently working on is targeted to complete in 2 years ,meanwhile, the owner is able to get a return on his investment starting from

third

Change the article

the third

show examples

year due to reducing the

time

duration of the construction. In conclusion, the

development

in the

Technology

is used for improving the human Life and Get a quicker return from the Owner's investment. notwithstanding there are few demerits, technical service is necessary for date devices, and the benefits of

technology

far more than the cons.

Submitted by navaqs on Wed May 04 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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