IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In
this
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 day and age, given the growing rate of expert
migration
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 from underdeveloped countries to developed ones, governments are increasingly concerned with the lack of experts. Underdeveloped countries are believed to impose strict laws to prevent their
migration
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,
However
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, others believe that having access to high-tech facilities is necessary for scientists to enhance their knowledge. In
this
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 essay, I will consider both sides of the argument and explain the extent to which I agree with the latter approach. On the one
hand
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, several drawbacks are associated with the
migration
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 of doctors and engineers. A good case in point is the
migration
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 of surgeons, which causes a lack of doctors in the case of emergency surgeries in hospitals, which ultimately leads to loss of life.
Furthermore
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, a lack of expert engineers in industrial sectors,
such
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 as factories, caused issues with
maintenance
Correct article usage
the maintenance
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, repair, and development of equipment.
As a consequence
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, several industries and factories will be out of service and
not able
Rephrase
unable
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 to produce products, and countries' economies will be weakened.
Therefore
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, some individuals believe that restricting experts is necessary to cope with drawbacks.
On the other
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hand
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, scientists need to select a country
of
Change preposition
to
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 live freely. The necessitate for
scientist
Add an article
a scientist
the scientist
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 to enhance their knowledge is having access to high-tech facilities. A good case in point, I am a materials engineer, to conduct my research, I need to have a specific type of microscope, which costs at least 1 million euros, and
such
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 a facility is not available in my hometown.
Therefore
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, I need to go abroad to be able to gain knowledge. To reverse
this
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 trend, I firmly believe that governments need to boost research infrastructures
instead
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 of restricting scientists'
migration
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. On the whole, in conclusion, either of these points can be quite valid. On the one
hand
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, a majority of people are keen to impose restrictions on expert
migration
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, but
on the other
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hand
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, other people agree that doctors and engineers should be free if they want to work in another country. Despite looking again at both sides of the argument, I am more likely to agree with the latter point.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use correct punctuation, such as separating clauses appropriately. For example, 'underdeveloped countries are believed to impose strict laws to prevent their migration, however...' should be split into two sentences or use a semicolon.
task achievement
Avoid vague phrases and improve clarity. For example, replace ‘several drawbacks are associated with the migration’ with a more direct phrase such as ‘migration presents several challenges.’
task achievement
Ensure all points are fully developed and supported with specific evidence or examples. For instance, you need to provide more details on how the lack of doctors causes loss of life through a specific example.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument effectively and presents a clear opinion, which shows a good understanding of the task.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, which helps in guiding the reader through your points systematically.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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