Most of the world’s problems are caused by overpopulation. Do you agree or disagree.

Linking Words

This

Change preposition

In this

show examples

day

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show examples

contemporary

Add an article

the contemporary

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era,the

world

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is experiencing

such

Linking Words

a challenging moment that

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is affecting the sustainability and running of the day-to-day activities.Most

people

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consider overpopulation as the main cause of

world

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problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

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.From my point of view,

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completely agree that there

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are

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too many

people

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on the planet to sustain and

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show examples

believe

also

Linking Words

that

overconsumption

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pray a huge role

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show examples

the

Use synonyms

world

Change noun form

world's

show examples

problems

First

Linking Words

and foremost,too many

people

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on the planet

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

such

Linking Words

huge burden because it is difficult to sustain,some of the needs they require

goes

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show examples

by the number in the community.

Correct your spelling

In addition

Inaddition

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In addition

,when there is a huge number of

people

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,it

mean

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means

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most of the activities offered in the community are not quality since there is much to offer.

For example

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Remove the article

apply

show examples

research by the University of Nairobi depicts that 90% of cities are crowded.There is a total decline of spaces for accommodating

people

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Therefore

Linking Words

,the huge burden the

world

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is experiencing is stuffed so with good support and planning the matter can quickly be solved.

Secondly

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other

Change the wording

another

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fundamental issue which is in the top gear is

overconsumption

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.Resource use has

outspaced

Correct your spelling

outpaced

sustainable

Correct article usage

the sustainable

show examples

capacity of the ecosystem,

the

Correct word choice

and the

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policy that

stand

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stands

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to protect

overuse

Change preposition

against overuse

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nolongerHowever

Correct your spelling

no longer however

, with

this

Linking Words

indication,the need of the community will not be achievable due to the imbalance.

For example

Linking Words

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research done by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Kenyatta University depicts that

overconsumption

Use synonyms

matter

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

at 70%

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show examples

causing global troubles.

Linking Words

Furthermore

Add a comma

,Furthermore

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law

Correct your spelling

lawmaker

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maker

Fix the agreement mistake

makers

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are becoming greedy

such

Linking Words

that they have no priority of matter to be attended to

first

Linking Words

Therefore

Linking Words

,overutilization of resources has caused

imbalance

Add an article

an imbalance

the imbalance

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whole

Add an article

a whole

the whole

show examples

global

world

Use synonyms

. To sum up,there is a huge number to sustain in the whole

world

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

that service delivery is affected in

term

Fix the agreement mistake

terms

show examples

of quality.

However

Linking Words

,it is imperative to note that apart from

aforementioned

Add an article

the aforementioned

show examples

drawback,

overconsumption

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

affect

Change the verb form

affects

show examples

the

world

Use synonyms

Sabina Hamisi

Jun 23, 2022

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Most of the world’s problems are caused by overpopulation. Do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays, some celebrities such as film stars, sportsmen and pop musicians are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which jobs should be highly paid?

Some people believe studying in a college or university is the best way to prepare for a successful career.Other people prefer to get a job as soon as they leave scool and to develop their career through work experience. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible sollitions can you suggest ?