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Band 7

t is a good idea for teenagers to have jobs while they are still students. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#idea #teenagers #jobs #students
Both education and experience are necessary nowadays to develop and maintain a successful career. Some youngsters apply for volunteer ship and part-
time
 jobs at the same
time
 as their academics. I am completely convinced that it is the best strategy for developing a flourishing career for the reasons that I will explain in
this
 essay. One of the best ways to know more about studies is to get hands-on experience at the
time
 of studying at school or college. If a person works in the same field of study, he will get practical experience that will help him in developing reasoning skills. In
this
 way, he might be able to solve questions more easily than his competitor
students
 who will not work.
For example
, an automobile engineer working in a car workshop will be able to understand the function of the engine better.
Furthermore
,
students
 could
also
 earn by doing jobs. In
this
 way, he would not only afford his expenses of learning but would
also
 save money for higher scholarship.
In addition
, teenagers would
also
 save for travelling which will help them to gain more knowledge and confidence
thigh
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 might reflect in their academic achievements. Research shows that
students
 who pay their tuition fees themselves perform better and get high scores in examinations. It is,
therefore
, an effective way to do something exceptional in
life
 to do both things at the same
time
.
However
, it is argued that it is a waste of
time
 to work
while
 studying.
Students
 ought to focus only on their studies to achieve better grades.
However
, it might be true if
students
 maintain discipline in
life
 and give proper
time
 to education and working outside. The benefits are much more significant than only giving
time
 to books.
To conclude
,
although
 the moment of studies is precious for pupils, it should not be wasted, maintaining discipline in studying
life
 and sparing
time
 for work can do wonders for them in college
life
.
This
 can be achieved by making a fixed schedule for both things.
Submitted by farrukh.maqsood on

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task response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance on the issue of teenagers having jobs while they are students.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas in a more logical and cohesive manner. Consider using transition words and cohesive devices to connect your ideas more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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