IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for a child having a larger number of toys?

#parents #children #toys #child
Toys
 have a key role in
children
's lives, and a
number
 of families purchase numerous
toys
 for their
children
 to be engaged with.
Although
, having a large
number
 of
toys
 can damage
children
.
This
 essay discusses the benefits and harms it has for
children
. On the one hand, having a child who has a healthy and innovative mind and is happy is a desire for each parent.
First
, with more playing materials, kids have more choices to play with.
Children
 who have a large
number
 of
toys
 can play with each of them every hour that they want. Each toy has special characteristics, so they can choose each related to their interests. Play with a
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 plaything leads
children
 to be happy.
Moreover
,
toys
 have many techniques that contribute to
children
's brain enhancement. So,
children
's minds face different challenges and try to solve them.
Thus
, different parts of their mind are activated via playing with many
toys
, so the
children
 can be more innovative, and develop their mental abilities.
On the other hand
, having a large
number
 of playthings can take
children
 away from real life and waste their
time
. The
children
 with various
toys
 spend more
time
 with them than in other activities. It is not helpful for them to allocate most of their
time
 to
playing
Change the form of the verb
play
show examples
 with
toys
, because they do not have any
time
 to communicate with others, so it leads them to be lonely and keep away from society.
Additionally
, some playthings can be similar, so
children
 invest
time
 in playing with similar
toys
, wasting their worthy
time
.
Instead
, they can allocate their
time
 to learning activities,
such
 as swimming, and valuable skills. In conclusion, having a large
number
 of
toys
 can cause some benefits for
children
,
such
 as making them happy and developing their minds.
However
, disadvantages outnumber the benefits, because
this
 makes
children
 lonely and keeps them away from useful activities.
Submitted by moradkhanighane on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: