Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?
Nowadays obesity is a big issue and needs to be tackled strongly by our healthcare system. Among new ,generations
this
phenomenon is spreading fast and in twenty years the death of cardiovascular or endocrinological diseases, due to obesity, will be doubled. There are several reasons that can explain this
problem, but I think that the main one is evolution.
Firstly
, our bodies were created to endure terrible starving conditions, in , the
fact we are able to survive with only 1000 Correct article usage
apply
calories
per day. However
, thanks to evolution, in western countries, we do not have this
problem anymore , ,,
Change the punctuation
apply
actually
some Add a comma
,actually
people
eat more than 3000 calories
per day. For example
, going to McDonald's will increase our caloric intake up to 3500-4000 calories
, and this
would be fine if we exercised like olympian sportsmen. In fact, we do not move anymore, this
is thanks to cars and buses that made our lives easier and decreased our occasions to burn calories
.
The solutions to obesity are not easy and straightforward, since there are a lot of reasons why people
eat, sometimes it is for depression, others for trauma, but mainly it is just for boredom. One way to tackle this
problem is knowledge, in , the fact it was proven that the majority of people
do not know the risks of a diet full of saturated fats and sugar. For instance
, doctors should advertise more about the consequences of food in our daily life and should let their patients know the risk they are undertaking.
In conclusion, we will find ourselves with a generation of obese people
, that will decrease our life expectancy and die of totally avoidable diseases. Knowledge is the key, but you can not change it if you do not want to.Submitted by giulia.piacentini1 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite