IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in a group, while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

With the development of novel technology and tendencies, individuals are more into exploring
about
Change preposition
the
show examples
 most effective learning methodologies. In that
aspect
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, some people argue that
,
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apply
show examples
team
Use synonyms
 learning is the most important ideology,
while
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 others
caliming
Correct your spelling
claim
,
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apply
show examples
 that solo learning can be more
efective
Correct your spelling
effective
. From my perspective,
Use synonyms
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
 is more beneficial towards young learners, as it paves the way for
students
Use synonyms
 to improve interpersonal skills and moral values, and at the same
Use synonyms
time
Add a comma
time,
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 it ensures healthy competition among them.
To begin
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,
according to
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 a communal setting, collaborative work can improve
team
Use synonyms
 spirit among youngsters.
As a
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result
Use synonyms
, bright
students
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 are able to develop empathy towards slow learners, which paves the way for healthy competition.
On the other hand
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, all the
students
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 can understand
the
Correct article usage
their
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 real capacity
of them,
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apply
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by observing their colleagues.
For example
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,
according to
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 recent research done by educationalists, shared learning
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 emphasised
week
Use the right word
weak
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students
Use synonyms
 to engage with their counterparts, which
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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 their understanding, motivation, and courage towards the goals . On the
countrary
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contrary
,
according to
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 another community,
independence
Replace the word
independent
 study is more important in
this
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 competitive
scholary
Correct your spelling
scholarly
 environment. More
importanantly
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importantly
,
according to
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 the facilitators,
team
Use synonyms
 activities can cause
distraction
Correct article usage
a distraction
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 on learning process.
As a
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result
Use synonyms
,
students
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 would waste their precious
time
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. More positively, if youngsters can focus on their tasks merely, teachers are able to evaluate their real performance.
For example
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,
according to
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 the psychologists, most demanding learning areas
such
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 as engineering, medicine, and technological fields require a crusial examing process towards their learning.
As a
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result
Use synonyms
, they should consume
a
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apply
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considerable
time
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, which
let
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allows
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 them to enhance their intellectuality. In that
aspect
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, self-study
lead
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leads
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 them to the golden
opporuntity
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opportunity
 to
achive
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achieve
 academic goals without
distarctions
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distractions
. From my perspective, learning through cooperative activities can be more effective
,
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apply
show examples
due to
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 its constructive nature. It is worth mentioning the fact that, in some
cases
Add a comma
cases,
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students
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 have showcased lethargic movements towards their learning capabilities. In that
aspect
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,
enjoyable
Correct article usage
the enjoyable
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 nature of
team
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 activities can ensure their active
engagment
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engagement
.
On the other hand
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, they can improve interpersonal skills
such
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 as communication,
time
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managments
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management
,
decision
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and decision
show examples
 making
,
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apply
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 by interacting with others.
As a
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result
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,
such
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 future professionals improve communal well-being ,which is essential to the human race. Looking from an
overall
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 perspective, it is evident that, ''Change is inevitable''. In that
aspect
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, every student, parent ,and educational professional should step forward to understand the most efficient ideology for enhancing
talents
Correct article usage
the talents
show examples
 of young learners in
this
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 challenging era.
On the other hand
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, governing bodies should ensure suitable infrastructure facilities to provide
appopriate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
 sources to educational professionals to choose the correct learning process to combat challenges.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. You did this, but your own view is stronger than the other side.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea very clear at the start of each body part.
task response
Use examples that are more clear and more real. Some examples are too general.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like 'first', 'also', 'however', and 'for example'.
coherence and cohesion
Some points need more support. Add one short reason after each main point.
task response
Keep your conclusion short and direct. Repeat your answer in a clear way.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most paragraphs stay on one main topic.
task response
You try to explain your ideas, not only list them.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • collaborative learning
  • peer feedback
  • social interaction
  • deep understanding
  • group dynamics
  • personalized learning
  • self-discipline
  • concentration
  • diverse perspectives
  • isolation
  • motivation
  • peer support
  • groupthink
  • distractions
  • commitment
What to do next:
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