IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In many countries, the crime level is increasing, and crimes are becoming more violent. What is the reason and what can be done about it?

#countries #crime #level #crimes #reason
The
crime
rate
 is more and more increasing in many
countries
, and
crimes
 are becoming more and more violent. There are many factors that contribute to
this
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss what is the reason and what can be done about it.
Firstly
, if we look at the
countries
 with the highest
crime
rate
, more or less we can see similar factors
such
 as high levels of poverty, drugs, and economic recession.
In particular
, one popular research made quite clear that children who don't drop out and complete school are less likely to commit
crimes
.
On the contrary
, if many families are having financial difficulties, it is likely that their children will drop out and incomplete their studies.
As a result
, there will be more
crimes
.
Secondly
, drugs are related to
crime
 in multiple ways. Many offenders often commit offences to support their
drug
 habit. Individuals who participate in
drug
 trafficking are prone to use violence too. Because of that, there are 20
countries
 with the harshest
drug
 laws in the world. Among them, the
countries
 like Singapore and Malaysia have capital punishment for those who sell drugs. They have a zero-tolerance policy for
drug
crimes
. All in all, in today's world, the
crime
rate
 is increasing and
crimes
 are becoming more violent. In order to tackle the above, the governments should work to reduce the poverty, law enforcement officers must comply with their laws, introduce harsh laws for
drug
-related
crimes
, and
last
 but not least the government should give children free education. I am more convinced that if we can tackle all of these, the
crime
rate
 should have reduced.
Submitted by kyawtlearning on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: