Some think individuals should support themselves after retirment, while others believe the government should be responsible for providing them providing them with financial assistance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#think #individuals #support #retirment #government #assistance

Many

people

believe that after

pension

people

should ensure their finance. There are others who firmly argue that the

government

should provide them with financial subsidies. There are huge conflicts about

pension

financial assistance among

people

who are on the edge of

retirement

also

it is significant to guarantee their

retirement

finance. In

this

essay, I will explain that the

government

retirement

system plays an important role in resolving the problem because it is the best solution.

Firstly

, nowadays most social governments charge their folks to pay a standard

pension

fee during working times. The

money

is made up by savings without having to worry about the

future

Therefore

people

take account into every possibility that

people

face in the

future

. After

retirement

, any individual cannot bear the financial burdens because they don’t make enough

money

to continue their lives and insurance payments.

For example

, when they work in any field, their payments are paid by their employers.

In addition

, extra insurance payments are paid

then

which has given them incredible insight into their

future

lives.

However

, any

government

cannot allocate even their resource let alone spend the extra

money

on pensions. The huge burden leads

causes

Change preposition

to causes

show examples

an economic crisis

then

the

government

find it hard to convey to their nation a lack of

money

which is important.

Although

the

government

supply a resource in any way, allocation of

money

in other fields would be reduced abruptly.

In addition

, there would be a price to pay by all nations. It could not be a possible solution that supplying by the

government

cannot fulfil

pension

demands. In conclusion, there is a decisive role for the

government

to regular their

money

in a system by getting

money

from their

people

People

adapt to these changes which contribute to their

future

but it doesn’t happen overnight.

Consequently

, there will be a series of conflicts among adherents.

Submitted by ibrahimccet on Fri Sep 30 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

financial literacy
long-term planning
safety net
economic inequality
personal responsibility
independence
financial burden
taxpayers
social security schemes
social stability
poverty reduction
retirees
dignity
economic security
peace of mind

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that develop the mind, such as reading and doing crossword puzzles. Others feel that it is important to give one's mind a rest in leisure time. Discuss
These days, whether use leisure time has sparked a heated debate. Although such an issue is contested by many, it is regarded thoroughly as both constructive and positive by a substantial number of individuals. As such, there are both merits and demerits to this trend, but I am of the opinion that the former outdoes the latter.
4
band
Compared to the past, people can now work in places that are far from their homes because of modern means of transportation. How has this affected the lives of workers? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having modern transportation. Support your answer with specific reasons and example.
Nowadays, the advancement of technology has covered all part of the globe, providing a better infrastracture and transportation systems. There are several advantages of modern transportation, as well as potentially disadvantages of this matters that affected the lifestyle of people who is working.
4.5
band
Task 2 Question You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion. You should write at least 250 words.
It is often argued that leisure activities for offspring should be organized by parents. While others suggest that children should have authority to decide their free-time activities, I believe that although children should have the freedom to do their preferences, overall children’s activities in their free time should be arranged by their guardians to avoid life threats and direct their correct pathway. This essay will discuss both points of view and express my perspectives in the upcoming paragraphs.
5.5
band
You recently organised an all-day meeting for your company, which took place in a local hotel. In their feedback, participants at the meeting said that they liked the hotel, but they were unhappy about the food that was servd for lunch. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter •say what the participants liked about the hotel •explain why they were unhappy about the food •suggest what the manager should do to improve the food in future
My name is khashayar Partovi. I have booked your hotel for our meeting which was held from Monday to Thursday last week. I am writing this letter regarding to our participants feedback about your services
5
band
Two thing that ruin someone’s impression in your mind
In the human history, from the ancient, human kind made cities and social systems because human naturally is social. In this age, people focus on their impression on others. Many things improve the impression on others and many things are the opposite side, ruin the impression. Today, in this lecture I want to mention two things that ruin someone’s impression in my mind which are Insulting and cheating.

Some think individuals should support themselves after retirment, while others believe the government should be responsible for providing them providing them with financial assistance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that develop the mind, such as reading and doing crossword puzzles. Others feel that it is important to give one's mind a rest in leisure time. Discuss

Compared to the past, people can now work in places that are far from their homes because of modern means of transportation. How has this affected the lives of workers? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having modern transportation. Support your answer with specific reasons and example.

Two thing that ruin someone’s impression in your mind