Some think individuals should support themselves after retirment, while others believe the government should be responsible for providing them providing them with financial assistance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#think #individuals #support #retirment #government #assistance

Many

people

believe that after

pension

people

should ensure their finance. There are others who firmly argue that the

government

should provide them with financial subsidies. There are huge conflicts about

pension

financial assistance among

people

who are on the edge of

retirement

also

it is significant to guarantee their

retirement

finance. In

this

essay, I will explain that the

government

retirement

system plays an important role in resolving the problem because it is the best solution.

Firstly

, nowadays most social governments charge their folks to pay a standard

pension

fee during working times. The

money

is made up by savings without having to worry about the

future

Therefore

people

take account into every possibility that

people

face in the

future

. After

retirement

, any individual cannot bear the financial burdens because they don’t make enough

money

to continue their lives and insurance payments.

For example

, when they work in any field, their payments are paid by their employers.

In addition

, extra insurance payments are paid

then

which has given them incredible insight into their

future

lives.

However

, any

government

cannot allocate even their resource let alone spend the extra

money

on pensions. The huge burden leads

causes

Change preposition

to causes

show examples

an economic crisis

then

the

government

find it hard to convey to their nation a lack of

money

which is important.

Although

the

government

supply a resource in any way, allocation of

money

in other fields would be reduced abruptly.

In addition

, there would be a price to pay by all nations. It could not be a possible solution that supplying by the

government

cannot fulfil

pension

demands. In conclusion, there is a decisive role for the

government

to regular their

money

in a system by getting

money

from their

people

People

adapt to these changes which contribute to their

future

but it doesn’t happen overnight.

Consequently

, there will be a series of conflicts among adherents.

Submitted by ibrahimccet on Fri Sep 30 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some think individuals should support themselves after retirment, while others believe the government should be responsible for providing them providing them with financial assistance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

"Many animal species in the world has become extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protects these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on problems of human being. Discuss both view and give your opinion"

Some people think that family life and parents have great influences on children’s development. Do you agree or disagree?

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?

"The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children’s behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?