Some think individuals should support themselves after retirment, while others believe the government should be responsible for providing them providing them with financial assistance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#think #individuals #support #retirment #government #assistance

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Many

people

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believe that after

pension

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people

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should ensure their finance. There are others who firmly argue that the

government

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should provide them with financial subsidies. There are huge conflicts about

pension

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financial assistance among

people

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who are on the edge of

retirement

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also

Linking Words

it is significant to guarantee their

retirement

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finance. In

this

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essay, I will explain that the

government

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retirement

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system plays an important role in resolving the problem because it is the best solution.

Firstly

Linking Words

, nowadays most social governments charge their folks to pay a standard

pension

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fee during working times. The

money

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is made up by savings without having to worry about the

future

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Therefore

Linking Words

people

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take account into every possibility that

people

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face in the

future

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. After

retirement

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, any individual cannot bear the financial burdens because they don’t make enough

money

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to continue their lives and insurance payments.

For example

Linking Words

, when they work in any field, their payments are paid by their employers.

In addition

Linking Words

, extra insurance payments are paid

then

Linking Words

which has given them incredible insight into their

future

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lives.

However

Linking Words

, any

government

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cannot allocate even their resource let alone spend the extra

money

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on pensions. The huge burden leads

causes

Change preposition

to causes

show examples

an economic crisis

then

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the

government

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find it hard to convey to their nation a lack of

money

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which is important.

Although

Linking Words

the

government

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supply a resource in any way, allocation of

money

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in other fields would be reduced abruptly.

In addition

Linking Words

, there would be a price to pay by all nations. It could not be a possible solution that supplying by the

government

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cannot fulfil

pension

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demands. In conclusion, there is a decisive role for the

government

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to regular their

money

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in a system by getting

money

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from their

people

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People

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adapt to these changes which contribute to their

future

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but it doesn’t happen overnight.

Consequently

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, there will be a series of conflicts among adherents.

Submitted by ibrahimccet on Fri Sep 30 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial literacy
long-term planning
safety net
economic inequality
personal responsibility
independence
financial burden
taxpayers
social security schemes
social stability
poverty reduction
retirees
dignity
economic security
peace of mind

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Some think individuals should support themselves after retirment, while others believe the government should be responsible for providing them providing them with financial assistance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam’’ How true do you think this statement is? What are measures can the government take to discourage people from using their cars?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?