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Writing Samples
Band 7

in many countries, more and more people children becoming overweight and unhealthy. some people think that government should be responsible for addressing problem

#countries #people #children #government
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Children, the generation accounting for human's future growth and existence are always the most important part of the authority care and protection policies. It is widely believed that government should care for young people's physical strength including their overweight issue and
also
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 illnesses caused by an unhealthy lifestyle.
However
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, I am an aggressive opponent of the aforementioned argument.
This
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 essay will
therefore
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 deliver
further
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 insights into how authorities do not have a responsibility for young people's physical health.
First
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 and foremost, family and school are the most closely to children at all times. Parents and teachers should be the ones who are responsible for their child's health condition, including balance nutrition at home and exercise during school day time. An example can be seen is whether an authority announces a policy to prevent children from being overweight and encourage a healthy lifestyle but if there is a lack of support and corporation from their teachers and parents it would be not effective at all. At the same time, with the poor and developing countries, the governments are in urgent need to get done a long list of tasks to boost their nation's economic growth, control diseases, education, epidemic, and war. These are all top priorities for the force to put their all effort and all national capacity to meet the target. To sum up, it is true that the later generation is most important to our society and they should be responsible for their own physical health,
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 mental strength to acquire knowledge and develop their own career path and country’s growth.
Besides
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, parents and teachers should give them clear guidelines and discipline to protect themselves from unhealthy conditions, not the government.
Submitted by hoangthoakinhte on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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