IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The government should lower the budget on art in order to allocate more money to education. To what extent do you agree?

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It is often argued that the government should reduce the budget for arts and prioritise
education
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, In
this
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 essay , I strongly agree with
this
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 statement because
education
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 is key to having highly qualified
people
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 and economic development by choosing art development from their own source.
To begin
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 with, increasing the
education
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 budget produces more highly qualified
people
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 in the
country
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.
This
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 gives opportunities to an individual to study full time and excels in their career path as
people
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 can focus on study and produce better results. A nation can have more qualified skilled workers
such
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 as doctors, nurses and accountants which is in demand in many countries today. If
people
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 are educated, they can find work easily and
this
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 reduces the unemployment rate in the
country
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 which reduces the poverty level and crime rate as well. When
people
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 are employed, it improves their living standard and they can invest in their own arts and make it one of the leisure activities.
On the other hand
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, there will be economic growth. A recent study found that Singapore nation has invested most in the
education
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 sector and producing highly skilled
people
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 which has attracted the most head offices in their
country
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 resulting in more income in the
country
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.
Moreover
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, when a
country
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 where has highly qualified
people
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 more call centres are outsourced to them and
this
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also
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 boosts their economic expansion. In conclusion, the government should invest more in
education
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 which results in highly skilled
people
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 and the development of the nation as well while
people
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 can meet the cost of arts for their leisure.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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