IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phones (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common.

#countries #phones #cellphone #apps
There is no denying that thanks to mobile phone apps, many
things
 can be met communities’ own needs by communities.
This
 app continues to be developed by the year. These are labour-saving and getting common in the world.
Although
 these
applications
 have numerous advantages, they have drawbacks too. In
this
 essay, the application’s both benefits, and harmful ways will be argued. The most significant and differential feature is that
applications
 provide the convenience of payment for
people
. Countless humans can pay their utility bills or debts without going to a bank.
For instance
, in the past, many
people
 had to go to the bank for paying their bills which are not sent together by the company, so they must move to the bank on different days when the various bills are delivered.
This
 situation was not appropriate for adults, especially for the elderly who wait in line. Thanks to
this
 development, they can deal with it effortlessly without being there.
In addition
, they have a lot of time, because of
this
 improvement. It is enough to have money in the application.
As a result
, in today’s ,world many
things
 can be paid for in an easy way.
On the other hand
, even though
this
 development is appropriate, it has disadvantages for adults. Numerous offences are increasing with apps. There are uninformed
people
 who do not know how to use these
applications
 in the world. Many unreal apps are created by robbers. When adults downloaded them, their information is stolen effortlessly.
In addition
, even if it is a real app, it can be hacked easily.
Hence
, these developments started to damage humans.
Therefore
, due to
this
 reason, they can face unwanted
things
. In conclusion, even though, there is a
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 to using the app for paying for
things
, these
applications
 continue to be used by
people
 to solve their problems. Because they do not want to waste their time on even a little thing in their lives.
Submitted by louiee1907 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: