Some people think that good health is a basic human need and the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do disadvantages outweigh advantages? Give your opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Access to adequate
healthcare
Use synonyms
is widely regarded as a fundamental human right, leading many to argue that medical services ought to be managed by public authorities rather than commercial enterprises.
While
Linking Words
allowing profit-making companies to operate in the
healthcare
Use synonyms
sector does present certain economic advantages, I believe that the drawbacks—specifically regarding equity and quality of care—far outweigh the benefits.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, private
healthcare
Use synonyms
providers can introduce significant advantages through efficiency and innovation. Driven by the profit motive, private medical companies often invest heavily in state-of-the-art technology, advanced research, and modern infrastructure.
This
Linking Words
competitive drive can shorten waiting lists and attract top-tier medical professionals, offering a higher standard of comfort and
specialized
Change the spelling
specialised
show examples
care for those who can afford it.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, private sector involvement can relieve some of the financial burden on state-funded
healthcare
Use synonyms
systems by accommodating patients who would
otherwise
Linking Words
rely entirely on public hospitals.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the disadvantages of running medical services for profit are profound, primarily concerning social inequality. When
healthcare
Use synonyms
is treated as a commodity, access is determined by financial capability rather than medical need.
Consequently
Linking Words
, lower-income populations may be priced out of essential treatments, preventive care, and life-saving medications, exacerbating societal divisions.
Additionally
Linking Words
, profit-driven management often
prioritizes
Change the spelling
prioritises
show examples
lucrative medical procedures over less profitable fields,
such
Linking Words
as mental health care or rural medicine, leaving critical public health needs unmet.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
the private sector brings financial investment and technological advancement to medicine, these benefits are overshadowed by the severe inequalities it creates. Because health is a universal necessity, I firmly believe that medical services should remain primarily under public stewardship to ensure equal access for all members of society, regardless of wealth.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Add one short real-world example to make your main points more strong. For example, show how a poor family may put off a needed visit because of cost, or how a private hospital may focus on high-pay care.
task response
Explain a little more why public control is the best answer. You say care should be mainly public, but you could also say that private care may still have a small role if public care stays open to everyone.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between each main point and your final view even more direct. At the end of the good-side paragraph, add a line saying that these gains help mainly people who can pay.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences hold many ideas. Split a few of them into two shorter sentences so the key point is easier to see, especially in the second and third body parts.
task response
Your view is clear from the start: the bad sides are stronger than the good sides. You answer all parts of the task and keep this view to the end.
task response
You give clear good and bad points. The points about new tools, less pressure on public hospitals, high cost, and unequal care are all on topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: introduction, good side, bad side, and conclusion. Each part has one main job.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “Furthermore”, and “Consequently” help the reader follow your ideas.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: