IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some think that government should support retired people financially while others believe they should take care of themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#think #government #support #people #care
An array of people believe that the retired community shall be supported financially by the state and some say
that is
 not and they should be self-supported. I strongly admit that there should be a government financial scheme to support the retired crowd and both views are discussed in detail below. On the one hand, social security is a very important factor in any country. The state should look after the children as well as the elderly population to ensure the well-being of the nation. Just take an elderly individual who devoted his whole life to the betterment of the country. He or she may be an engineer, teacher, doctor, farmer or a housewife and dedicated their own energy to developing the country for a long period. I strongly believe that dedication should be paid off financially when those are retired.
Hence
 it is very important to establish a social security fund to look after the retired generation.
On the other hand
, some public says that everyone should save plenty of money while they work, to use during the latter part of their life
instead
 of expecting state financial support.
That is
 individuals are expected save a certain percentage of their own earnings for themselves,
instead
 of spending all for their families. That can
also
 be materialised, if their earnings are sufficient enough and
this
 could relieve the government from the burden of looking after adults.
However
, as all cannot afford the cost of living while saving for themselves some kind of state-owned fund is a must to look after the aged generations. To conclude, I opine that there should be a financial package available on request for retired people to support them and enable them to live a peaceful life during the latter part of their lives.
Submitted by thurecds on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: