The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centres. It is feared that this trend can bring negative influences on the youths and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Nowadays, many youngsters spend most of their

time

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in shopping

malls

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. It is feared that

this

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trend may lead to negative results for youths and the community. I strongly agree with

this

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view considering two main reasons. The main reason is that when younger people spend more

time

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in shopping

centres

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, it means they tend to spend more money with their friends. Most of the

malls

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have gaming

centres

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. These

centres

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can be addictive for young individuals as they are at an

uncontrollable

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apply

show examples

age. When they hang out with their friends in shopping

centres

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, they spend their

time

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and money on these gaming machines or on these playing areas , which are highly addictive.

Moreover

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, they waste their parents' money ,

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similarly

Correct word choice

and similarly

show examples

, their

time

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In addition

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this

Linking Words

is a bad influence on the other young girls and boys. To illustrate, if someone goes more often to

malls

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and tells friends how enjoyable it is, other youngsters are

also

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curious to see what's happening in these

centres

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Secondly

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, when they spend their

time

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in shopping

malls

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, they may miss their academic activities and school.

Moreover

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, they find doing homework or studying is not much fun. They think it is more fun when they spend

time

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with their classmates in shops or in gaming

centres

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This

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trend can lead to a future world full of uneducated people. In conclusion, I completely agree that young people spending

time

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in shopping

centres

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is becoming a bad influence on society , and there will be a huge impact on future generations.

pamodigunasena

Jul 10, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically to the next.

task achievement

Add more specific examples to support your points, as this strengthens your argument.

task achievement

Consider including a more balanced view or addressing potential counterarguments to show depth in your writing.

task achievement

You clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

Your points are relevant and focused on the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

leisure time
shopping centre
negative influences
trend
materialism
consumer culture
impulsive buying
financial strain
exposure
physical activity
social interactions
small businesses

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The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centres. It is feared that this trend can bring negative influences on the youths and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you this it is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that in the future, environmental problems will mean that we are unable to live on this planet. In order to survive, the human species will need to find another planet that can support life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?