IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #admission #museums
Museums not only play a critical role, in preserving the cultural heritage of a race. but acts as an important medium between the past and the present. The rationale for charging entrance fees, to
such
 institutes has always been questionable. In my ,essay we shall discuss the benefits and drawbacks of the ticket system and rationalise why it's more beneficial than not, charging entry fees. Foremost, a ticketing system ensures, that the institute has a regular and sustainable source of income ,for the upkeep of its premises and to uplift its display, which in turn makes it more attractive to the public, at large.
Moreover
 ,
this
 revenue
also
 helps to add new exhibits and attractions
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and provides salaries for the people associated with it. To cite an example, several museums in Germany, which does not receive government aid,
survives
Correct subject-verb agreement
survive
show examples
 on the revenue generated from the tickets sold.
In addition
, payment at the front gate,
also
 ensures that the quality of visitors is more serious, in their intent of learning and observing than a casual crowd choosing the place to pass idle time.
This
 ensures that the sanctity of the purpose is well preserved.
On the contrary
, it can be said that a payable system of admission has to compete with several attractions, which are basically free to enjoy. It is of common observance, that free-to-enter attractions are more crowd-pullers.
For example
, in Dubai, more crowds throng the beaches at Marina as it is free and does not charge people. High entrance charges often act as a deterrent in the quest for knowledge and the desire to see and feel. Conclusively, after analysing both sides, it can be well stated that the positive arguments in favour of charging people for admission to museums
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 outweigh the probable negatives.
Submitted by hindolroy7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: