IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

There are more and more celebrities advertise their uncertain products such as Kera vegetable candies or nutritious syrup packs. What are effects? How can this problem be solved?

In recent years, a growing number of
celebrities
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 have been promoting questionable
products
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such
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 as Kera vegetable candies or so-called nutritious syrup packs.
This
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 trend has raised concerns about the effects on consumers, particularly young and impressionable audiences.
This
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 essay will explore the consequences of
this
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 issue and suggest possible solutions. One major effect is the spread of misinformation. When
celebrities
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 advertise
products
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 that lack scientific backing or proven health benefits, consumers may be misled into believing
such
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 items are effective or safe.
This
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 can result in people wasting money on ineffective
products
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 or, worse, risking their health. Children and teenagers are especially vulnerable, as they often trust public figures without critically evaluating the claims. Another consequence is the erosion of consumer trust. As more people realise that some endorsements are purely profit-driven rather than based on genuine belief or expertise, public confidence in advertising and celebrity figures may decline.
This
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 can harm both the reputation of the celebrity and the credibility of the product market as a whole. To address
this
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 issue, stricter advertising regulations should be introduced. Governments and consumer protection agencies need to ensure that any health-related product being promoted — especially by public figures — is supported by evidence and approved by relevant authorities.
Celebrities
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 should
also
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 be held accountable for misleading endorsements, perhaps through legal consequences or public disclaimers.
Furthermore
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, public awareness campaigns can help educate people on how to critically assess advertising and make informed choices. In conclusion, the rise of
celebrities
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 promoting uncertain
products
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 can lead to health risks and reduced trust among consumers. Governments, regulators, and influencers themselves must take responsibility to ensure that advertisements are honest, ethical, and based on verified information.

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task achievement
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports the main argument. You could add more examples of specific health risks or consumer reactions to strengthen your points.
coherence
Try using transition words to connect your ideas more smoothly. For example, you can use 'Firstly' for your first point and 'Furthermore' for additional points.
introduction
The introduction clearly states the topic and outlines what the essay will discuss, which is great for clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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