The diagram shows how chocolate is produced.
The diagram illustrates the process 350 degrees Celsius. After that, the outer shells are removed and the
in
which chocolate is manufactured.
It can be seen clearly that there are 10 steps in the chocolate-making process, beginning with growing Change preposition
by
cacao
tree and ending with being turned into liquid chocolate.
Correct article usage
a cacao
At
the initial step, cacao tree is planted in South America, Africa and Indonesia which provide good condition for them to develop. Change preposition
In
Next,
when its pods are ripe enough, it is harvested and selected the white cocoa Linking Words
beans
inside it. After that, the Use synonyms
beans
are fermented before being spread in Use synonyms
sun
in order to dry.
Following that , these dried Add an article
the sun
beans
are packed in large sacks and Use synonyms
then
transported by train or lorry to the factory . Linking Words
At
the eighth step, the Change preposition
In
beans
are roasted at the highest temperature,which reached Use synonyms
up
Change preposition
apply
Change preposition
to
beans
are crushed into small pieces. Use synonyms
Finally
, it is pressed and liquid chocolate production is finished.Linking Words
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words beans with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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