Task 1: The diagram shows how chocolate is produced.

Task 1: The diagram shows how chocolate is produced.
The diagram illustrates the process
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
which chocolate is manufactured. It can be seen clearly that there are 10 steps in the chocolate-making process, beginning with growing
cacao
Correct article usage
a cacao
show examples
tree and ending with being turned into liquid chocolate.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
the initial step, cacao tree is planted in South America, Africa and Indonesia which provide good condition for them to develop.
Next,
when its pods are ripe enough, it is harvested and selected the white cocoa
beans
inside it. After that, the
beans
are fermented before being spread in
sun
Add an article
the sun
show examples
in order to dry. Following that , these dried
beans
are packed in large sacks and
then
transported by train or lorry to the factory .
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
the eighth step, the
beans
are roasted at the highest temperature,which reached
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Change preposition
to
show examples
350 degrees Celsius. After that, the outer shells are removed and the
beans
are crushed into small pieces.
Finally
, it is pressed and liquid chocolate production is finished.
Submitted by bobong120906 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words beans with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: