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Band 7

The pie charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Oman and Spain in 2005 and projections for 2055.

The pie charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Oman and Spain in 2005 and projections for 2055.
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The four pie charts provide information about the
population
Use synonyms
 ages in two countries -
Spain
Use synonyms
 and
Oman
Use synonyms
 in 2005 and
also
Linking Words
 the prediction for 2055. There are 3 categories of ages (
children
Use synonyms
,
adults
Use synonyms
 and elder
people
Use synonyms
).
Overall
Linking Words
,
Oman
Use synonyms
 tends to be a country of mostly elder
people
Use synonyms
 with just a tiny percentage of
adults
Use synonyms
 in 2055,
while
Linking Words
Spain
Use synonyms
, on the opposite, is going to have almost half of its
population
Use synonyms
 in the 15 to 59
years
Use synonyms
 gap. In 2005,
Oman
Use synonyms
 had an even number of elder
people
Use synonyms
 and
children
Use synonyms
 with 48 % each,
while
Linking Words
adults
Use synonyms
 were just 4% of the whole
population
Use synonyms
. On the other side,
Spain
Use synonyms
 used to have an overwhelming majority of
people
Use synonyms
 over 60
years
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 old at 62%, citizens under 14
years
Use synonyms
 and between 15 and 59 were just over a third of the
population
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, with 14 and 24 per cent respectively. In 2055,
Oman
Use synonyms
 will be more like
Spain
Use synonyms
 in the first year with 57% of elder
people
Use synonyms
 and 37% of
children
Use synonyms
. The number of
adults
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 will not change significantly with only a 2% increase to 6% in total. Meanwhile,
Spain
Use synonyms
 will have a nearly similar number of
people
Use synonyms
 between 15 and 59 and
people
Use synonyms
 over 60
years
Use synonyms
 old, but the percentage of
children
Use synonyms
 will stay relatively low at 12% of the
population
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, spain, oman, children, adults, people, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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