Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

There has been widespread debate in recent years concerning whether foreign

music

is a beneficial or harmful way of bringing another county's cultures and people. The majority of individuals claim that it is a worthwhile way of developing cultural diversity and attracting foreign people, but others argue that it has a number of disadvantages. Personally, I believe that

music

might be harmful because of many reasons and

this

view will be discussed in

this

essay. On the

one

hand,

music

might be the foremost cause of losing

one

nation's culture. Listening to various international famous songs emulates the youth and teenagers to follow their behaviour and attitude, which leads to forgetting their nation's wealth.

For example

, there are a number of youngsters, who changed their behaviour and interests because of a popular

music

group called "Ninety-

one

" in Kazakhstan.

Following

this

, they were interested in k-pop and started changing their outfit and behaviour

according to

this

group.

Hence

music

might be the utmost reason for personal alteration among the youth.

Secondly

, attracting other nations'

music

might lead to controversy among these nations. There are many countries where some kinds of songs are forbidden by religion.

Additionally

, the elder might prohibit their children from listening to other countries'

music

because they do not understand the meaning of the song or they saw something awful related to

this

music

Therefore

, different views among people undoubtedly lead to misunderstanding each other and result in division into diverse groups on their opinions.

As a result

, it might appear unpleasant consequences in the future

such

as a political war among these countries or a fight between these nations. In conclusion,

music

is a good way for attracting tourists to

one

region and promoting

one

nation's culture,

however

, it has some harmful sides, which should be taken into account.

Submitted by adilkhanov.mdr on Sun Feb 26 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Investment in local amenities such as leisure centres is the best way for the government to foster a good community spirit. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

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