Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #parents #time #work #children

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Teenagers' delinquencies are becoming more serious than in the past. Some people argue that the underlying cause of

this

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issue is that

parents

Use synonyms

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

time

Use synonyms

at work rather than taking care of their

children

Use synonyms

. In my view, I partially agree with

this

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statement because not only can

parents

Use synonyms

manage their child's behaviours, but

also

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teachers

Use synonyms

are playing an important role in regulating teenagers' characteristics.

First,

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parents

Use synonyms

inherently should take the major part of the responsibilities to take care of their sons and daughters no matter how busy they are.

However

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, both modern mothers and fathers concentrate too much on the workplace.

parents

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spend less

time

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communicating with their

children

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, and

then

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they may think that

parents

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may not

concern

Wrong verb form

be concerned

show examples

about what is happening to them. If the situation became worse,

children

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would close their doors of hearts and suffer some mental illnesses. Those delicate

children

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may be easily affected by an external environment, so they may tend to solve problems by extreme methods like violence.

Therefore

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, the number of teenage crimes may

finally

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increase.

Second,

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children

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also

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spend a long period of

time

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in school to study, so

teachers

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may be able to stop the increasing trend of

this

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issue. colleges are the place for learning knowledge,

as well as

Linking Words

the correct values. Basis laws and rules are imparted to students' consciousness.

Also

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teachers

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can

keep

Verb problem

pay

show examples

attention to changes in teenagers' behaviours.

For example

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, if a child persistently bullies without

teachers

Use synonyms

' awareness, they will be more likely to grow up to be physically violent, and may offence some anti-social crimes. In summary, not only can

parents

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spend more

time

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talking with their

children

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, but

teachers

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can

also

Linking Words

lead young people to walk on the correct developing path.

Submitted by sam132457 on Sat Mar 04 2023

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task response

Provide more specific examples to support your points.

coherence and cohesion

Connect your ideas more clearly with appropriate transitions.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that all popular TV programs should aim to educate viewers about important social issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Student learn far more with their teachers than other sources (the Internet or television). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some developed countries now have unemployment problems. Why do people still want to immigrate to these countries? Give reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.