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Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

#children #pressures #perspectives #measures
Today's
children
 are pressurized hard and harder
academicall
Correct your spelling
academically
.
This
 kind of
Fix the agreement mistake
pressure
show examples
pressures
 may be affected to
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
.
This
 essay intends to discuss the causes of these
pressures
 and suggests some measures to alleviate the problem. In my opinion, nowadays many
parents
 seized control over their
children
's life and behaviours.
This
 is a huge problem
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
children
's world. Because sometimes
parents
 do not pay attention to
children
's interests that problem leads to
discover
Wrong verb form
discovering
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
being
an independent citizens
Correct the article-noun agreement
an independent citizen
independent citizens
show examples
 in society .
Although
parents
 want their
children
 to excel in every field .
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 if
children
's
parents
 continued control over the
children
, mounting
pressures
 lead to fear
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 being individual and wide broad outlook.
In my
Change preposition
My
show examples
 from
Add an article
a perspective
the perspective
show examples
perspective
Add a comma
,perspective
show examples
 they must shield
from
Correct pronoun usage
themselves from
show examples
 control. There are
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
simple
Add an article
a simple
show examples
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
.
Firstly
, When they are studying at school their teachers can bring out
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
show examples
 sides of
children
's
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
 and challenge them with genius theory. Because
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of
children
 spend time is the quality of relationships
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 are able to build with each student. On top of that
parents
 must try to find
Add an article
the weakness
a weakness
show examples
weakness
Fix the agreement mistake
weaknesses
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
children
that
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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may be in education or
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
. To summarise, there is no doubt that the
children
 of today are facing so many
pressures
, but steps should be taken on a war footing to protect their innocent childhood.
Otherwise
, these
pressures
 will stifle the physical and psychological growth of
children
.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • globalized world
  • competitive education system
  • social media influences
  • cyberbullying
  • commercial pressures
  • aggressive marketing
  • materialistic desires
  • peer pressure
  • high expectations
  • standardized testing
  • quantifiable performance
  • stress and anxiety
  • extracurricular achievements
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