IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think advantages of charging people for a museum outweigh disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people #museum
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Nowadays, whether
museums
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 should be
at
Change preposition
in
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 charge has attracted numerous controversies and drawn the attention of the public. Some
people
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 hold the view that charging
people
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 for a museum is a better idea,
while
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 others think it has more disadvantages. In my eyes, its advantages are more than
disadvanteges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 because of the cultural and financial reasons.
Firstly
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, it has been
argud
Correct your spelling
argued
 why I reckon paid
museums
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 are wiser. Admittedly, the positive aspects of
free
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the free
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museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 must be considered. There is no doubt that it attracts more
people
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 to come because you do not need to pay.
However
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, I still believe
the
Correct your spelling
that
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 paid
museums
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 have many ways enriched
people
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's lives.
For example
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, one Indian artist, Lucy Blair, once said"When you pay the fee for the
museums
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, you pay more attention to the detailed information of the displays.
Definitely
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,Definitely
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this
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 leads us
know
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to know
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further
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 about the culture."
Thus
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 it is clearly shown that the benefits of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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paid
museums
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 are much better than
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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.
Moreover
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,
aother
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another
other
 aspect that should be considered is
financial
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a financial
show examples
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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. As far as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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museums
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 are concerned, the ultimate aim of
museums
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 is to run a
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
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 business.
For instance
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, a recent article published in Nelson Magazine revealed that
museums
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 absolutely need the fee of admission.
Therefore
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, they have enough money to invest themselves better. Undoubtedly, it is a clear indication that the good sides of paid
museums
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 are more than
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 bad sides.
To sum up
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, I insist that the positive aspects of paid
musuems
Correct your spelling
museums
is
Change the verb form
are
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 more than
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 negative aspects given the reasons outlined above. In order to address
this
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 issue, the government and
museums
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 should make a concerted effort to find a solution.
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