IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. To what extent should people try to have a good work-life balance? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

A lot of individuals has devoted most of their life to
work
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 and forget to enjoy the other things outside their offices. I believe it is vital to incorporate
work
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-life balance to lessen stress and improve our
health
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 in various ways. In
this
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 essay, the afore-mended reasons will be dissected and a concluding view
at the end
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.
Firstly
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, in
this
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 busy world, many
people
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 are experiencing burnout
due to
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 too much dedication to their jobs. Especially unmarried individuals who spend their free time catching up with their unfinished tasks at
work
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 and there are no children or spouses to prevent them from doing so.
For example
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, a lot of
people
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 who are in their mid-20s in Korea are choosing single life to focus on their job and earn money, but in the same age group, they are the ones who are experiencing depression and exhaustion
due to
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 overwork.
Therefore
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, introducing new activities to do or
people
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 to mingle with may ease
this
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 issue.
On the other hand
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 of the issue,
health
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 is compensated for those
people
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 who value their
work
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 more than their physical self. But by including balance in daily routine, it could boost the
health
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 of many.
For instance
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, travelling is a good hobby, not only because you meet new
people
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, but it
also
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 helps the mind to relax and unwind in different surroundings. In Australia, quite a few individuals go around the country with a caravan to camp and travel at the same time for their hobby.
This
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 is part of their culture as a way to incorporate life into their busy lives. In conclusion, there is a large number of
people
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 who focus their lives to
work
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 and exclude other activities which cause extreme stress and ignore their
health
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 in general. Incorporating balance
on the other hand
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 could improve the way of living of many, finding a hobby
such
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 as travelling and introducing new
people
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 in their circle could change and improve their focus, not only
work
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.

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