Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities.Others, however, say that this would have little affect on public health and other measure are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #measure

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In today’s society, some

people

believe that increasing the number of

sports

facilities

is the best way to enhance public

health

However

, others argue that

this

will have only a minor impact, and other measures should be considered. In my opinion,

while

sports

facilities

are important, they are not the only solution to improving public

health

. On the one hand, more

sports

facilities

can encourage

people

to be more physically active. If there are more parks, gyms, and swimming pools,

people

may be more likely to exercise regularly.

For example

, many

people

might start jogging if there is a new park nearby, or join a gym if it is affordable and close to home.

This

can lead to a healthier population, as regular exercise helps prevent many diseases.

On the other hand

, simply building more

sports

facilities

may not be enough to significantly improve public

health

. There are many factors that affect

health

such

as diet, smoking, and stress.

For example

, someone who eats unhealthy food or smokes regularly might not benefit much from using a gym.

Additionally

, some

people

might not be motivated to use

sports

facilities

even if they are available, especially if they are not used to exercising or are too busy with work and family. In conclusion,

while

increasing the number of

sports

facilities

can contribute to better public

health

, it is not the only solution. Other measures,

such

as promoting a healthy diet and reducing smoking, are

also

necessary to improve the

overall

health

of the population.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Wed Aug 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

In order to improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied linking words and phrases. This will help your essay flow more smoothly and will guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.

task achievement

To achieve higher marks for task achievement, try to develop each point further with more detailed examples or statistics. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding and provide stronger support for your arguments.

coherence cohesion

While your conclusion is clear and relevant, you could enhance it by summarizing the key points from both sides more explicitly before giving your own opinion. This would provide a more balanced and well-rounded conclusion.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.

task achievement

You presented both sides of the argument and provided your own opinion, which directly addresses the task requirements.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are relevant and supported with examples, which helps to substantiate your arguments.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
physical activities
fitness
obesity rates
sports centers
mental well-being
motivation
education
public health campaigns
nutritional education
preventative healthcare
health screenings
long-term health outcomes
lifestyle changes
stress management
smoking cessation
alcohol consumption
comprehensive public health improvement

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