IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time .This can benefit teenageers and the community as well .to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit #teenageers
In today’s life, many people suppose that if young individuals take part in voluntary jobs, it will bring advantages to both themselves and the community.
Although
this
 is partly true, I argue that we should not force them to do these if they do not want to. There are some reasons why parents should not require their children to work on a voluntary basis.
Firstly
, it is obvious that school-aged children already have enough pressure from their studying.
For example
, in many schools, students are forced to attend a number of extra classes;
moreover
, there is a huge amount of assignments from their teachers that they have to finish before classes.
Therefore
, not all of them are
such
 that free to spend time on other activities.
In addition
, because of
this
 studying pressure, parents should encourage them to unwind in order not to suffer from depression or stress.
For instance
, They should hang out more with their friends, play some sports and participate in extracurricular activities to develop their physical health
as well as
 mental one. It is undeniable that if volunteering becomes a must for teenagers, they will lose their right to freedom. Undoubtedly, in most countries, it will counter the value of a free and fair society if any individuals have to do work that they do not want
due to
 requirements from others. It is a fact that people will absolutely do their tasks without their highest ability and devotion because they are obligated.
As a result
, the government and society can not gain anything from them. In conclusion, in spite of some personal and social benefits from volunteer teenagers, these works should come from their desires
instead
 of forces from others.
This
 is because teenagers are having enough burden from their studying
as well as
 it will against the right of humanity to be free.
Submitted by Minh Hà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • teenagers
  • free time
  • benefit
  • responsibility
  • empathy
  • skills
  • learning opportunities
  • freedom
  • resentment
  • motivation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: