The demand for coaching services has grown significantly in the digital age, with online coaching platforms becoming prevalent. Some now feel online coaching is a superior option to in-person coach. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, mentorship via the Internet has become widespread.
While
some regard offline coaching as indispensable, I argue that online services often bring interaction with mentors to the next level.
The first reason for the efficiency of online coaching is that it is not time consuming
, since it is provided remotely and there is no need to commute anywhere. Add a hyphen
time-consuming
This
is particularly beneficial for those who have busy schedules or live in tiny towns. Furthermore
, as such
barrier as distance is eliminated, people from over
the globe can get access to an appropriate mentoring programme.
The second reason is that online platforms offer an opportunity to send a message to the mentor whenever it is necessary, Rephrase
all over
instead
of meeting the coach in person according to
the schedule. This
option may be especially suitable for those who prefer to learn at their own pace or face difficulties during the course.
Thirdly
, online platforms often provide multiple digital resources in order to make the course more efficient, like presentations and video tutorials. Being interactive, such
instruments make information easy to adopt, and thus
, their impact on the learning experience is sufficient.
However
, some individuals argue that offline meetings provide better contact in comparison with online mentorship. While
there is definitely some truth in that, I think that mentoring via the Internet has become equally involving
Wrong verb form
involved
due to
the development of cutting-edge means of communication. Therefore
, I firmly believe that digital services are far more progressive than their traditional analogues.
To sum up
, even though in-person guidance is still common, I reckon that online mentorship has the potential to become the future,
because it is flexible, engaging and does not require a significant investment of time.Remove the comma
apply
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task achievement
Ensure that all main points presented in the essay are supported by specific, detailed examples. While the essay does include examples and explanations, greater detail would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on adding more transition words and phrases to improve the flow of the essay. This will enhance the overall coherence and help the reader follow your points more easily.
task achievement
Consider expanding the counterargument before rebutting it to show a more balanced view and acknowledge the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from a clear thesis statement in the introduction, linking to the conclusion. This will help in maintaining a focused argument throughout the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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