The graph gives information about the number of books which were borrowed from four village libraries namely West Eaton, Ryeslip, Sutton Wood and Church Mount from June until September in 2014, and the pie chart shows a breakdown of kinds of book borrowed during the period.

The graph gives information about the number of books which were borrowed from four village libraries namely West Eaton, Ryeslip, Sutton Wood and Church Mount from June until September in 2014, and the pie chart shows a breakdown of kinds of book borrowed during the period.
The graph gives information about the number of
books
which were borrowed from four village libraries namely West Eaton, Ryeslip, Sutton Wood and Church Mount from June until September
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2014, and the pie chart shows a breakdown of
kinds
Correct article usage
the kinds
show examples
of
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
borrowed during the period. From the line
graph
Add a comma
,graph
show examples
we can see that Sutton Wood shows
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
upward trend compared with Ryeslip.
While
West Eaton and Church Mount demonstrate
Correct article usage
a gradually
show examples
gradually
Change the word
gradual
show examples
rise over the period. The percentage of fiction
books
was much higher in comparison with other types of
books
. Regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Sutton
Add a comma
,Sutton
show examples
Wood started at almost 250
books
in June and it rose slightly and
then
the number of
books
dipped in August, with approximately 100
books
.
By contrast
, there was a sharp fall in the number of
books
in Ryeslip over the period of 4 months.
Moreover
, the figures for West Eaton and Church Mount showed
Correct article usage
a steadily
show examples
steadily
Change the word
steady
show examples
increase, starting with around 50 in June and
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
150
books
in September. Meanwhile, the rate of fiction
,
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apply
show examples
represented 43 per cent, and other types of
books
had
similarly
Change the adverb
similar
show examples
percentages. The figure for biography is just 19%, and
other
Change preposition
for other
show examples
genres of
books
namely self-help, history and science, it was a small minority.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words books with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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