IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #hours #consequences
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It is believed, despite some welfare advantages countries that host
people
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 who work for more than enough time generally struggle with some social issues. It is certain that there are right and wrong sides
due to
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 the fact that today's competitive world requires
people
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 to work harder for reaching a sustainable economic situation.In my opinion, if balance is achieved social consequences will not happen. To sum extent, having much more working hours is considered because if you do not have any significant
feature
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features
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such
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 as being hardworking you can not stand on your own feet.To clarify, inflation rates, amount of unemployment problems and other
economical
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economic
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 issues are
faced
Wrong verb form
facing
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drastic
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with drastic
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increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
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 so
people
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's affordability is dramatically reduced. In order to
Linking Words
this
Add a missing verb
do this
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, a person who wants to keep the same life quality should spend his time
on
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apply
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working much more than he did.
For example
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 in my country citizens struggle with a high rate of inflation but our average working hours are not decreasing.
Thus
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 citizens' life quality has been going down day by day.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 should not exaggerate because in our requirement list our social needs get the same rank as other needs. In other words, our social needs are not less important than money. If we put money to the
firs
Correct your spelling
first
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 rank we probably will experience depression problems
as a result
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 of being alone
also
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 depression has some detrimental and permanent effects.
According to
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 the World Health Organisation (
WHO)
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,WHO)
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 depression will be a crucial problem in the future. In conclusion, it is common belief social problems have a huge amount of correlation with working time. It is certain that there are advantages and downsides for both of working a lot or not. To tackle
this
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 problem balance should be achieved.
Submitted by yunussemreozkaya on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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