IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People nowadays tend to have children at older ages. Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many countries these days, more and more people prefer to have children at older ages.
Although
Linking Words
 there are some drawbacks to consider, I believe that the benefits of
this
Linking Words
 trend outweigh the downsides. To embark on, having babies later in the marriage may prepare the couple for financial and emotional stability. Parents will have sufficient time
for saving
Change preposition
to save
show examples
 money for their children's education
as well as
Linking Words
 health insurance.
Moreover
Linking Words
, older couples may have a more emotional and social maturity
that is
Linking Words
 good for their children's upbringing. On top of that putting off the pregnancy at a later
age
Use synonyms
 may give an opportunity for the couple to spend time more on their hobbies or focus more on their
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, when they
finally
Linking Words
 have a baby they have already done with their other ambitions.
However
Linking Words
, there are several disadvantages to having an early child at a later
age
Use synonyms
. First of all, it could be dangerous to be pregnant at an older
age
Use synonyms
. It is stated that pregnancy may bring some fatal risks for women over the
age
Use synonyms
 of 35 years
old
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as severe hypertension that may lead to seizures.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the parent may be too old when their first child enters a university or has a wedding. They may not be able to see their first grandchild and play with them. In conclusion, being a parent at an older
age
Use synonyms
 may bring some disadvantages
such
Linking Words
 as not being able to have a grandchild.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 choice seems to offer more benefits
such
Linking Words
 as financial and emotional stability.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your essay addresses all aspects of the task prompt to achieve complete task response.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to maintain coherence and cohesion throughout the essay by using linking words and transitions.
vocabulary
Your use of vocabulary is generally effective, but try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.
grammar
You have shown good control of grammar and sentence structure. To improve your score, consider using more complex sentence structures and varied grammatical forms.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: