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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People nowadays tend to have children at older ages. Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages.

#people #children #ages #advantage #outweigh
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In many countries these days, more and more people prefer to have children at older ages.
Although
Linking Words
 there are some drawbacks to consider, I believe that the benefits of
this
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 trend outweigh the downsides. To embark on, having babies later in the marriage may prepare the couple for financial and emotional stability. Parents will have sufficient time
for saving
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to save
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 money for their children's education
as well as
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 health insurance.
Moreover
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, older couples may have a more emotional and social maturity
that is
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 good for their children's upbringing. On top of that putting off the pregnancy at a later
age
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 may give an opportunity for the couple to spend time more on their hobbies or focus more on their
carrier
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career
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.
Therefore
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, when they
finally
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 have a baby they have already done with their other ambitions.
However
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, there are several disadvantages to having an early child at a later
age
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. First of all, it could be dangerous to be pregnant at an older
age
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. It is stated that pregnancy may bring some fatal risks for women over the
age
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 of 35 years
old
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apply
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such
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 as severe hypertension that may lead to seizures.
Furthermore
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, the parent may be too old when their first child enters a university or has a wedding. They may not be able to see their first grandchild and play with them. In conclusion, being a parent at an older
age
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 may bring some disadvantages
such
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 as not being able to have a grandchild.
However
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,
this
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 choice seems to offer more benefits
such
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 as financial and emotional stability.
Submitted by irarahmawati.polkesma on

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task achievement
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coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to maintain coherence and cohesion throughout the essay by using linking words and transitions.
vocabulary
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grammar
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