Some people think that machine translation is highly developed in today's society. Therefore it is not necessary for children to learn a foreign language. What's your opinion?

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In the present world, the advancement of technology plays an important role in
people
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's lives.
While
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it is believed that
due to
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advanced computers, we can understand almost all non-native languages, I strongly believe offspring have to develop
this
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skill for two reasons. First of all, access to these modern and expensive machines is not possible for a large number of
people
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. I concede that the price of them might be easily affordable for most individuals in North America,
however
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, in many developing countries
people
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cannot afford them because they do not have enough income.
For example
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, in parts of my home country, Iran,
people
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do not know how to use a mobile phone.
As a result
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, using
this
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technology is not applicable to many
people
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, and they still have to learn a second
language
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. Another reason is that learning a
language
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is a skill that can increase
children
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's cognitive abilities. It is proven that bilingual
children
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are known for better performance in problem-solving.
This
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skill could help
children
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in all aspects of their lives.
Therefore
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, alongside learning a foreign
language
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,
children
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can obtain lots of benefits.
According to
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research conducted by Tehran University in Iran, bilingual
children
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who spoke Farsi and Arabic had a higher rate of acceptance in university entrance exams.
Thus
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, though there are some machines to translate every
language
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, it is better to let young learners study secondary ones. In conclusion, the lack of access to
this
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technology over the globe and the positive effect that it has on brain development, indicate that heirs need to study foreign languages. I recommend that it is wise to rely on human brains rather than machines.
Submitted by Rosa on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, work on using clear transition words between paragraphs. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph consistently supports your thesis statement.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your task response. Consider including some examples from a wider range of contexts to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the conclusion not only summarizes the main points but also leaves a lasting impression or a call to action. This can further enhance the overall impact of your essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear argument about the necessity of learning foreign languages despite technological advancements in translation.
task achievement
The writing includes relevant and specific examples, such as the situation in Iran, which effectively support the main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
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