IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

you recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter ● describe the problem with the equipment ● explain what happened when you phoned the shop ● say what you would like the manager to do.

#piece #equipment #kitchen #work #shop #action #manager
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Dear Sir/Madam I am writing
this
 letter to inform you about the broken air fryer that I purchased from your store
last
 week. I was thrilled when I purchased
this
 air fryer
of
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from
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starfrit
Change the capitalization
Starfrit
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 company for $150 from your store. As soon as I reached home, I
pluged
Correct your spelling
plugged
 it
to
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in to
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 use it for cooking the chicken in it. Everything was ready and I put the chicken in it and on the timer of 20
mintues
Correct your spelling
minutes
 at 450 degrees, but after 20
mintues
Correct your spelling
minutes
 when I opened it my happiness
turns
Wrong verb form
turned
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 to sudden misery as
meat
Add an article
the meat
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 was still raw.
Although
 the timer was on, as it was showing green light
but
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apply
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it
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 some internal
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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due to
 which it was not working. I called the store and explained
them
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to them
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 the
hole
Correct your spelling
whole
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situtation
Correct your spelling
situation
,
I
Correct word choice
but I
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did not
got
Change the verb form
get
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 any positive response from them.
Furthermore
, they blamed me that it might be my fault that I had not handled it with care. I asked for the
managers
Change to a genitive case
manager's
managers'
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 contact number but they refused and said it was not in their policy to provide
Correct article usage
the managers
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managers
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manager's
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 phone number. I got quite upset by communicating with your employee. I request you
for
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to
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 either
replacing
Wrong verb form
replace
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 my product, or I would like to get my refund. I have attached the bill of purchase with
this
 letter. Looking forward to
hear
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hearing
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 from you. Yours sincerely ABC
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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Grammar and Spelling
Ensure that you carefully proofread your letter to correct any spelling mistakes (e.g., 'plugged' instead of 'pluged', 'minutes' instead of 'mintues', 'whole situation' instead of 'hole situtation'). Accurate spelling is important for clarity and professionalism.
Transition and Flow
While your letter effectively conveys the message across three clear paragraphs, consider adding more transition phrases between paragraphs to improve flow. This will enhance the readability of your letter and make your argumentation even stronger.
Detail and Specificity
Try to provide more specific details when describing problems or your desired resolution. For example, you could state a desired timeframe for the resolution or mention any inconvenience the issue has caused you, to make your request more compelling.
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