Currently, many people fail to balance the work with the other parts of lives.What are the reasons and how to solve it?

Due to

advancements in technology,

people

are getting more and more engaged in their office work, and

hence

they are unable to focus on other aspects of life. Nowadays, it is easily identified that most of the localists are running a rat race for money. There are multiple reasons for

this

development and I will discuss the reasons in

this

essay

along with

possible solutions.

Firstly

, Metropolitan culture has increased progress in cosmopolitan type lifestyle,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

consequently

Add a comma

,consequently

show examples

local

people

have started living in a nuclear family.

This

development has created more responsibilities for individuals to run their families. Not only

this

, inflation has increased in the

last

decade and household expenses are not able to manage after working limited hours,

In contrast

, it inspires working men and women to spend more time on their professional carrier.

For example

, Japanese

people

are working at least 10-12 hours in the offices to bit local expenses.

Secondly

, the business

people

have to focus double on their businesses

due to

a lot of competition between pear companies to gain market shares.

In addition

, someone can easily lose their customer

due to

greedy advertisements by another group,

hence

this

type of work-life asks more focus on personal achievements rather than focusing on other stuff of personal life.

For instance

, big giant Nestle is taking market share of noddles by bombarding a pretty good advertisement. In conclusion, it is a necessity for all countries to manage working pressure

along with

individual personal commitments.

This

can be resolved only by the government authorities by keeping strict rules for organization working hours and declaring additional national holidays so the local individuals can spend precious time with their loved ones

as well as

their own.

Submitted by kintans54 on Mon Aug 14 2023

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Currently, many people fail to balance the work with the other parts of lives.What are the reasons and how to solve it?

Your opinion

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give tour own opinion.

If some people get a chance to choose between life without work in spending most of the time working, then they would choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree?

Shopping is the favourite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

There seems to be an increasing trend towards assessing students though exams rather than through continual assessment. What are the advantages and disadvantages of exams as a form of assessment?