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Band 6.5

The table and pie chart gives information about the population in Australia according to different nationalities and areas.

The table and pie chart gives information about the population in Australia according to different nationalities and areas.
#information #population #australia #nationalities #areas
The given
table
 and
pie
chart
 provide information about the
people
 in Australia from different countries. The
pie
chart
 depicts the proportion of nations from China,
Correct article usage
the Netherland
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Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
show examples
and New Zealand and others and the
table
 illustrates
the
Remove the article
apply
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their living areas in
cities
 and
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
.
Overal
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Overall
show examples
, it is clear from the
pie
chart
 and the
table
 that among several nationalities, the
poportion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of Australians
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 highest and most of the
people
 are living in
cities
 rather than
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
. The
pie
chart
 shows that
,
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apply
show examples
 there are 73%
people
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of people
show examples
 are Australian and
people
 from New Zealand, China and
Netherland
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Netherlands
show examples
 are only 3%, 2% and 1% respectively which is significantly lower than the proportion of Australian
people
.
Moreover
, there are other nationalities
also
Correct pronoun usage
who also
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 reside in Australia which is again
comparativelty
Correct your spelling
comparatively
 lower than the Australian
people
 and
that is
 14%. From the
table
, it is obvious that
,
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apply
show examples
 approximately 99% of Chinese
people
 prefer to live in
cities
whereas
 only 1% lives in
countryside
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the countryside
show examples
.
In addition
, the proportion of New Zealanders and British
people
are
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apply
show examples
90% and 89% respectively who belong to
cities
Whereas
 comparatively 10% and 11% are living in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
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. In regard to Dutch
people
, only 17% are living in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 and 83% are living in
cities
. The same parameter is demonstrated
the
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in the
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 case of Australia because 80% are living in
cities
 and 20%
are
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apply
show examples
belong to
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words table, pie, chart, people, cities, countryside with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic data
  • population distribution
  • nationality groups
  • urban planning
  • cultural diversity
  • social policy
  • demographic trends
  • rural vs. urban distribution
  • reflect on the implications
  • cultural exchange
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