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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and pie chart gives information about the population in Australia according to different nationalities and areas.

The table and pie chart gives information about the population in Australia according to different nationalities and areas.
#information #population #australia #nationalities #areas
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The given
table
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 and
pie
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chart
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 provide information about the
people
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 in Australia from different countries. The
pie
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chart
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 depicts the proportion of nations from China,
Correct article usage
the Netherland
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Netherland
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Netherlands
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and New Zealand and others and the
table
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 illustrates
the
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apply
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their living areas in
cities
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 and
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countryside
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the countryside
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.
Overal
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Overall
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, it is clear from the
pie
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chart
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 and the
table
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 that among several nationalities, the
poportion
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proportion
 of Australians
are
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is
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 highest and most of the
people
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 are living in
cities
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 rather than
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countryside
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the countryside
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. The
pie
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chart
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 shows that
,
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apply
show examples
 there are 73%
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people
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of people
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 are Australian and
people
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 from New Zealand, China and
Netherland
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Netherlands
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 are only 3%, 2% and 1% respectively which is significantly lower than the proportion of Australian
people
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are other nationalities
Linking Words
also
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who also
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 reside in Australia which is again
comparativelty
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comparatively
 lower than the Australian
people
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 and
that is
Linking Words
 14%. From the
table
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, it is obvious that
,
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apply
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 approximately 99% of Chinese
people
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 prefer to live in
cities
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whereas
Linking Words
 only 1% lives in
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countryside
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the countryside
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.
In addition
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, the proportion of New Zealanders and British
people
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are
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apply
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90% and 89% respectively who belong to
cities
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Whereas
Linking Words
 comparatively 10% and 11% are living in
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countryside
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the countryside
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. In regard to Dutch
people
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, only 17% are living in
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countryside
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the countryside
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 and 83% are living in
cities
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. The same parameter is demonstrated
the
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in the
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 case of Australia because 80% are living in
cities
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 and 20%
are
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apply
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belong to
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countryside
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the countryside
show examples
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words table, pie, chart, people, cities, countryside with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic data
  • population distribution
  • nationality groups
  • urban planning
  • cultural diversity
  • social policy
  • demographic trends
  • rural vs. urban distribution
  • reflect on the implications
  • cultural exchange
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