IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You had planned to visit you head office which is located in a different city but can no longer go.

#visit #head #office #city
I hope
this
 letter is for you in radiant health and the best of spirits. I am writing
this
 letter with the crucial purpose of giving some I can't go to my office which is far from the city. Because I have several problems. On the one hand , the first and most important thing which should be mentioned is that I have someone's health problems. My right leg gets hurt a little. Even walking is a bit difficult. On the other side of the coin, I hope to go to the office soon.By the end of
this
 month, the doctor will give me permission and I will go to the office with my wife.
Finally
, having given the previous facts, I am available any time if you need any
further
 regarding the situation at your earliest convenience
as well as
 look forward to hearing from you in the future .
Thus
 , do not hesitate to contact me . Yours faithfully Sarvinoz .
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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task response
The essay does not fully address the task prompt, as it lacks a clear explanation of why the writer cannot go to the office and what the purpose of the letter is. The content is not comprehensive and lacks specificity in addressing the issues.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The logical structure is weak, and the essay lacks coherence and cohesion. There is no clear progression of ideas, and the essay jumps from one point to another without clear connections.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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