Successful sports professional can earn a great deal more money than people in other important profession. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Fame is always accompanied by huge wealth. Some individuals believe that a successful sports professional deserves the enormous earning
while
others opine that it does not provide justice to people from other professions. Linking Words
This
essay will discuss both these views and explain why the former view is ideal.
There are several reasons why top-rated sportsmen enjoy the privilege of way better earnings. Linking Words
To begin
with, some sports like Football, Cricket etc generate ample revenue. Linking Words
Hence
, the players get their deserved share. For illustration, In 2022 BCCI generated a profit of 80 million and Linking Words
accordingly
, it was divided amongst the players. Linking Words
Moreover
, they burn their sweat and soul. So clearly, it is their hard-earned money. To share one Linking Words
such
instance, Virat Kohli revealed that to perform well on the ground for 2 hours, he prepared himself by exercising daily for 6 hours in the gym which is three times more than the required time. Linking Words
Additionally
, they earn well by acting as brand ambassadors for various companies. Linking Words
Therefore
, it is their own hard work, that rewards them like anything,
Linking Words
Also
, there are a few factors that lead to society's belief that it is unfair for people belonging to other important career streams. Linking Words
Firstly
, professions like doctor, nurse, lawyer etc. are vital for society. We actually need them for our survival, unlike sportsmen who just entertain us. Linking Words
For example
, if you need heart surgery, you can just rely on doctors. Linking Words
Secondly
, these folks have spent more time and effort in acquiring their qualifications. It would take at least 10 years for a doctor to obtain his degree. They have relatively more working hours. Despite these factors, they don't generate more money. Linking Words
Hence
, they don't deserve equal pay.
Linking Words
This
essay has discussed both views about whether it is fair for renowned sportsmen to earn endlessly or not. Linking Words
To conclude
, they ought to have a better pay scale as they generate more revenue Linking Words
as well as
work really hard.Linking Words
Submitted by virdidaman7068 on
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task response
Your essay adequately addresses the task by discussing both views and presenting your own opinion. However, ensure that you directly respond to the prompt and fully explore all aspects of the topic in more depth.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is mostly clear, with a well-developed introduction and conclusion. Work on ensuring a more cohesive progression of ideas and use of cohesive devices within paragraphs to enhance coherence.
lexical resource
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and effectively conveys your ideas. However, aim to use more precise and varied vocabulary to enrich your writing and avoid repetition.
grammatical range
There is evidence of a good range of grammatical structures, although errors occasionally hinder communication. Focus on accuracy and proofread your work carefully to eliminate errors and enhance clarity.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?