Some people belive that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad's person nature. discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many individuals think that poor financial and social situations could have a strong relation with the huge amount of
crime
while
some people
argue that crimes are related to people
's awful personalities. In this
essay, I will talk about both views,
and Remove the comma
apply
then
give my point of view.
On the one hand, some proponents emphasize that the economy and the social obstacles in the nation might be associated with a noticeable increase in crime
numbers. Due to
a lack of jobs or low wages, some people
will start to think about attending a crime
to get money and manage their lives. For example
, in some poor countries, it is unsafe to walk with a lot of money, as some thieves may steal what you have. Also
, social problems like racism against a group of people
, could create hatred between the members of the community and lead to crime
.
On the other hand
, some people
agree that the criminal is connected to the individuals who have bad attitudes. They believe that some criminals commit crimes, just for fun or because they love to do that not because there is something they need . For instance
, many hackers steal people
's personal information, just to believe that they are powerful and they can control others. Furthermore
, they said that some of these criminals commit a crime
because they are jealous of someone who may have succeeded in his life.
In conclusion, I believe that crime
is a result of a combination of the country's economic and social status in addition
to people
's bad mindset.Submitted by okalqusay on
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task achievement
Expand on specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Clarify some sentence structures for readability, for example: 'some people will start to think about attending a crime' could be 'some people may resort to committing crimes.'
coherence cohesion
Use more varied transition words to enhance the flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
Address potential counterarguments briefly to show depth in the discussion.
introduction conclusion present
Well-defined introduction that clearly states both views and your intention to discuss them.
introduction conclusion present
Strong conclusion that succinctly summarizes your viewpoint.
logical structure
Logical structure and clear separation of ideas, each body paragraph addresses a distinct point of view.
supported main points
Supported main points with relevant arguments and examples.