Some people belive that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad's person nature. discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many individuals think that poor financial and social situations could have a strong relation with the huge amount of

crime

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while

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some

people

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argue that crimes are related to

people

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's awful personalities. In

this

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essay, I will talk about both views

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

then

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give my point of view. On the one hand, some proponents emphasize that the economy and the social obstacles in the nation might be associated with a noticeable increase in

crime

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numbers.

Due to

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a lack of jobs or low wages, some

people

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will start to think about attending a

crime

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to get money and manage their lives.

For example

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, in some poor countries, it is unsafe to walk with a lot of money, as some thieves may steal what you have.

Also

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, social problems like racism against a group of

people

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, could create hatred between the members of the community and lead to

crime

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On the other hand

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, some

people

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agree that the criminal is connected to the individuals who have bad attitudes. They believe that some criminals commit crimes, just for fun or because they love to do that not because there is something they need .

For instance

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, many hackers steal

people

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's personal information, just to believe that they are powerful and they can control others.

Furthermore

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, they said that some of these criminals commit a

crime

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because they are jealous of someone who may have succeeded in his life. In conclusion, I believe that

crime

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is a result of a combination of the country's economic and social status

in addition

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people

Use synonyms

's bad mindset.

okalqusayTue Sep 10 2024

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task achievement

Expand on specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

Clarify some sentence structures for readability, for example: 'some people will start to think about attending a crime' could be 'some people may resort to committing crimes.'

coherence cohesion

Use more varied transition words to enhance the flow between paragraphs.

task achievement

Address potential counterarguments briefly to show depth in the discussion.

introduction conclusion present

Well-defined introduction that clearly states both views and your intention to discuss them.

introduction conclusion present

Strong conclusion that succinctly summarizes your viewpoint.

logical structure

Logical structure and clear separation of ideas, each body paragraph addresses a distinct point of view.

supported main points

Supported main points with relevant arguments and examples.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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