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Band 6.5

In some countries more and more people are becoming interested in finding out bout the history of the house or building they live in.

#countries #people #bout #history #house
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It is true that in several parts of the world,
people
Use synonyms
 are gradually interested in searching the historical factors of where they occupy, whether it is a house or a building.
This
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 phenomenon can be attributed to a number of reasons, and there are a few approaches that could be implemented to find out about the background of these dwelling places. There are two main reasons associated with
this
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 phenomenon.
Firstly
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,
this
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 trend might mainly relate to the fact that the more historical meanings an object possesses, the more value it has.
Also
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, it is evident that hundreds of houses which have existed for a long period of time or have stories related to a certain event in the past are offered at extravagant prices on the real estate market. The second reason for
this
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 practice is probably
due to
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 the sense of exploration and curiosity.
Furthermore
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,
people
Use synonyms
 try to figure out what their houses have gone through, and when they actually understand everything about it, they are inclined to show more appreciation for where they live. There are several possible ways for dwellers to do research on the historical information of their houses or buildings. The first approach is to gather data from all sources of websites or online articles.
This
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 method is extremely useful as it enables
people
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 to access a wide variety of information with ease and swiftly.
However
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, some of the data might be distorted and untrustworthy,
therefore
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,
people
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 need to be well aware of what they read.
In addition
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, they could ask the elders in the neighbourhood or local areas to get more accurate and precise info. In conclusion, the trend of searching for the history of where they live can be attributed to the sense of exploration and curiosity
as well as
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 the awareness of the house's value.
People
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 can look for information on the internet or from the community around their place.
Submitted by Phạm Hải Anh on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are weak and need improvement. Provide a clear and specific thesis statement in the introduction and summarize the main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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