Some people believe that celebrating personal events is a waste of money. Others feel that these celebrations play an important role in the lives of individuals and in society as a whole. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #events #waste #money #celebrations #role #lives #individuals #society

Nowadays, it is becoming increasingly common for

people

to celebrate personal

events

. Some

people

think that celebrating a particular event is just a waste of

money

while

others argue that

celebrations

have an important role in human lives. In fact, I side with those who believe that

celebrations

play an important role both in individuals and society. On the one hand, celebrating private event need a huge amount of

money

. It means that citizens need to allocate some budget for celebration from their cost of living.

For instance

, citizens need a budget to buy food, drinks, and ornament for parties, and book the place where personal

events

will be held.

However

this

event does not have any significant effect on

people

. They just have fun with relatives and

friends

for a day. It is just a waste of

money

Moreover

, the budget of the private

events

will be more useful if

people

spend it on their long-term goals

such

as education or investing in shares.

As a result

, citizens can improve their lives.

On the other hand

celebrations

bring

people

together. By holding particular

events

people

will invite their family and

friends

. It will give them the opportunity to meet their relatives and

friends

that are rarely seen.

Nevertheless

, it will strengthen their bond. For illustration, a busy son will have a great conversation with his family at his party.

Consequently

people

will keep in touch with their relatives and

friends

To sum up

although

celebrations

need a huge of

money

that can be seen as a waste, it is beneficial to strengthen the bond with society.

Therefore

, I am firmly convinced that celebrating private

events

is a wise decision to bring

people

together.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Thu Sep 21 2023

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that celebrating personal events is a waste of money. Others feel that these celebrations play an important role in the lives of individuals and in society as a whole. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicnes and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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