IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Not enough people realize the importance of natural world. What is the reason for people’s lack of awareness? How can people be made more aware?

#people #importance #world #reason #people’s #lack #awareness
people
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not realise how important
unaffected
Correct article usage
an unaffected
show examples
 environment is. the main reason is they don't pay attention to the surrounding
world
 and the best solution for
this
 is that government need to allocate more
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertising
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
knowledge
Replace the word
knowledgeable
show examples
people
 about the natural
world
. with
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
show examples
 in technology and fast
develop
Change the form of the verb
developing
show examples
 cities , the rate of deforestation is
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
increasing by the day
also
 the
world
 has
been completely change
Change the verb form
been completely changed
show examples
due to
 globalization ,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
forgot
Wrong verb form
have forgotten
show examples
 the importance of non-renewable resources,
furthermore
 cutting down trees will lead to
disasester
Correct your spelling
disaster
 because
people
 ignore that these trees can improve the air quality
for example
 in some developing countries the
emount
Correct your spelling
amount
 of carbon emission is much higher than the standard level
as a result
 it can provoke air contamination. these reasons are the consequences of not being
awareness
Replace the word
aware
show examples
 of
significant
Correct article usage
the significant
show examples
 role which nature
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 in our
surrounded
Replace the word
surrounding
show examples
world
.
on the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 there is so much afford that need to be taken into account,
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
 should
be notice
Change the verb form
be noticed
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how
preserve
Wrong verb form
preserving
show examples
 of organic environment is crucial, if society
countine
Correct your spelling
continue
continues
 ignoring the value of organic global, it will be irrecoverable results
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
worldwide.,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
 government have to expend more money on
advertisement
Add an article
an advertisement
show examples
 that
correlate
Change the verb form
correlates
show examples
 with the high quality of natural planet,
for instance
 in the USA some organization raise money to notice
people
 of benefits of not using paper shits. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
however
,
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
use of
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 and fast developing countries are becoming
serious
Add an article
a serious
show examples
 danger to
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 there will be more to do in order to get
warrent
Correct your spelling
warrant
warrants
 to
people
 about maintaining their real
habitatnts
Correct your spelling
habitats
habitants
inhabitants
.
Submitted by niloofarkakaii on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: