Some people think that hard working and determination are the key factors for being successful in the life, other people feel that other factors are important. Discuss both sides, what is your opinion?

#people #determination #factors #life

Being successful in life is a dream for everyone. It takes hard

work

and good concentration to bring about

success

, which is believed by a group of people,

whereas

another group of people trusts that and needs some

opportunity

for a successful life. In

this

essay, I totally agree with

this

statement because, without investment, you cannot get any betterment in the future. On the one hand, I believe that every successful person has a good sign in the future of that dedication and nonstop

work

This

is the main point for

success

; they know how to utilise the time and

afford

Correct pronoun usage

itafford

show examples

. If we invest it in the wrong place,

then

we cannot get any good things from it.

For example

, Elon Musk wants to develop a high-resolution car without fuel. He has expressed it for a very long time, for

further

development. After 1 year, he got

this

success

, and now it is

world-wide

Correct your spelling

worldwide

show examples

popular

for

Change preposition

show examples

the new modern era.

On the other hand

, they believe that some people need some

opportunity

for greater

success

. Sometimes

opportunity

gives us

deraction

Correct your spelling

derivation

to motivation and determination for

work

, but after getting your clue, you are unable to apply it without focus and

work

Success

will come into your hands easily.

For instance

, in the Nokia mobile producer industry, from the beginning they were following the traditional way of producing mobile phones; they were not using the new technology for customer service, and for that

reason

Add a comma

,reason

show examples

they destroyed their market. Now they are not successful in the market. In conclusion, any kind of

success

cannot be achieved without dedication and hard

work

. If they are maintaining it in their daily lives, they can get it very easily, and sometimes there is an

opportunity

to emphasise it for their own

success

as well.

Submitted by nuresadikchowdhury175 on Sun Oct 01 2023

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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