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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.
#tourists #caribbean #island
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The line graph illustrates how many
tourists
Use synonyms
visiting
Wrong verb form
visited
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 a specific Caribbean
island
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 from 2010 to 2017, categorized by
their
Change the word
the
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 type of accommodation chosen.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total visitors of
Linking Words
this
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to this
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island
Use synonyms
 constantly increased over time.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of visitors staying on
cruise
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ships
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tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
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 to
positively
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positive
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grew
Verb problem
apply
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in most years. The
number
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 of Caribbean
island
Use synonyms
tourists
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tend
Change the verb form
tends
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 to
grew
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grow
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 constantly throughout 7 years. Moving to a more detailed analysis, there was a slight decrease
on
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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cruise
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Use synonyms
ships
Change the noun form
ship
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habitants
Correct your spelling
habitats
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 from 2011 to 2012.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 occurred to the
tourists
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 staying on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
an island
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 between 2015 and 2016, where it was decreased in the same amount
like
Change preposition
as
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 the
cruise
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Use synonyms
ships
Change noun form
ship's
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 habitants. Several years witnessed a positive growth
on
Change preposition
in
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 the
number
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 of
tourists
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 staying on
cruise
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ships
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.
For example
Linking Words
, it increased by 0.5
millions
Change to singular
million
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 between 2013 and 2014.
On
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In
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 the contrasting case, the
number
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 of those who stayed on
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island
Add an article
the island
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were
Change the verb form
was
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 mostly stagnant. Starting in 2013, there were 1.5
millions
Change to singular
million
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tourists
Use synonyms
, leveling off until 2015.
Submitted by shanniania on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, island, number, cruise, ships with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
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