Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Certain college
students
desire to acquire knowledge in other disciplines alongside their primary fields of study. Some believe that prioritizing their time and focusing on learning for credentials is vital. In my opinion, it is preferable for students
to acquire more qualifications for their studies rather than simply studying more subjects
. Consequently
, I will discuss both ideas and elaborate on my reasons.
On the one hand, some students
desire to learn more subjects
, and their reason is that they can find out which subject
they like more than others. Some undergraduates do not have much knowledge about their field, so they choose more subjects
to know about them. Although
they learn with less quality. For example
, when I was studying undergrad, many of my friends did not like their fields; subsequently
, they did not study as much as they needed. However
, if they are allowed by the university
to learn other subjects
to find out their desired subjects
, it should help to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
success
in their study.
Replace the word
succeed
On the other hand
, other students
believe that they should put all their effort into learning their subject
, and they give reasons that they choose one subject
and they must learn it with high quality. If they do not like their subject
, they must leave university
and find their goals before they come back to university
. If one person wants to go to university
, he ought to choose their desired field. It is not true that we come to college and then
we find out what we should do.
In conclusion, in my opinion, we should learn our field with high quality and learn deep
in it—not learn a lot of courses but not so much deep.Change the word
deeply
Submitted by mkhdermani on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
supported main points
The essay needs some improvement in supporting the main points with more specific examples and detailed arguments. This will enhance the depth of your discussion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear, but try to elaborate on them more comprehensively by including different perspectives and addressing possible counterarguments.
complete response
When discussing your opinion, try to provide a more detailed explanation of why you hold that viewpoint. This will strengthen the task achievement.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively outlines both viewpoints and states your own opinion clearly.
logical structure
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, which makes it easy to follow your argumentation.
complete response
The essay covers both views on the topic, which helps fulfill the task achievement criteria.