IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The bar charts below shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second year of use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and mae comparisons with relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The bar charts below shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second year of use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and mae comparisons with relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#bar #visits #community #website #first #second #year #information #features #mae #comparisons
The given bar graph delineates the information related to the
number
 of
visitors
 to the community
website
 during the course of
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
year
 and second
year
 of use. Looking from an
overall
 perspective, it is readily apparent that
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of individuals visiting the
website
 during the second
year
 had a drastic increase as compared to
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
year
. In
initial
Add an article
the initial
show examples
 phase of
site
Add an article
the site
show examples
, during October
website
recieves
Correct your spelling
received
 5,000
visitors
, which
are in
Verb problem
is
show examples
 parallel to April. November and December have similar
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 of
visitors
, which are about 10,000. May have about 7,500 guests visiting the
website
. The highest
number
 of
visitors
 were during June, July and August.
However
, September, February and March have the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
number
 of citizens using the
website
.
However
, in
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
year
, June and July, have the highest
number
 of
visitors
 which are about 22,500.
This
 month is followed by May, which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 20,000 people. November and December are in parallel,
accounts
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for 17,500.
This
 trend is followed by February and March with 10,000
man
Change to a plural noun
men
show examples
 and
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
. During
this
year
,
Septemeber
Correct your spelling
September
show examples
 and October
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 received the least amount of persons on
website
Correct article usage
the website
show examples
.
Submitted by khushiaggarwal255 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors, website, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼

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