IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below gives information on how people use four types of transport and the table provides of five reasons data of using a car in Edmonton.

The pie chart below gives information on how people use four types of transport and the table provides of five reasons data of using a car in Edmonton.
#information #people #four #transport #five #data #car #edmonton
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The provided pie chart gives information about how
people
use
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
transport
 and
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 in Edmonton. Why
people
Add a missing verb
do people
show examples
use
 the
car
 in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
provide
Wrong verb form
provided
show examples
 by
Add an article
the table
a table
show examples
table
Capitalize word
Table
show examples
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Overall
, it is obviously seen that in Edmonton the most popular
transport
 is a
car
,
while
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 and
taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
taxis
show examples
 are not as so popular as
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
. Getting back to the details the highest indicator among
people
 who
use
transport
 is
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
. The figure
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 up 45%,
by
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
people
 do not
use
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 and
taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
taxis
show examples
 like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
. It constitutes only 20% collectively.
However
, the second
popular
Correct quantifier usage
most popular
show examples
transport
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 LRT. Compare with other transports LRT is used 10% less than
car
, but a quarter percent more than bus and taxi. As can be seen from
this
 diagram more than half per cent
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
use
 the
car
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 commute to work,
then
 the business which had the same proportion as the
car
 .
Thirdly
, Taking children to school is 5% less than the prior category.
Additionally
, Shopping and Leisure activities have less per cent
also
, these items have the same percentage with 15%.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, use, transport, car with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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